Icarus Guild: The Renaissance Incident

THE ICE CREAM STICK OF DOOM.

Reno wasn't sure what to do. He was hanging out with the hottest girl on the planet in an ice-cream parlour. Normally, that would be a cause for celebration for any guy. Except, Reno didn't know how to talk to girls. Heck, he didn't even know how to hang out. Inclined planes, stoichiometry and calculus tended to take all your attention. Now, if it was Pokemon, Reno could understand. But socializing? Nuh-uh.

As some of you smart people have already guessed, yeah, he was a nerd. And that meant he absolutely sucked at everything that didn't involve complicated thinking.
SPORTS? Well, he had signed up for long jump in 6th grade and had made a new record (Yeah, apparently he had not even reached the sand pit).
MUSIC? He had tried singing once, but crows and angry mothers didn't make the best of a chorus.
LOOKS? His looks had nothing going for him. A bit over 5 feet tall and weighing 70 kilograms didn't exactly count for a stunner. (He had once found a pig doodled over his photo. Unfortunately,It made a very real life depiction). 

And so,he was stuck with academics.

So, basically what was the hottest girl on the planet doing with him? Good question. Reno hadn't quite figured out that part.

She had dropped out of a tree (for real), had looked at Reno and had said, "Where can I find Ice Cream nearby?" Being the honest guy he was with absolutely no ulterior motives, he had taken her round the corner to Oompy's Chiller Cream (Reno didn't even know who Oompy was). She had taken a Choco Cornetto and begun tackling it with gusto, while Reno had been left scrambling his pockets for money (Pro Tip: Do not go out on a Cornetto date). Anyway, Reno was confused about what to do next. Make small talk? Well, Reno highly doubted his social abilities. Ask her number? That involved a dangerously high risk of getting slapped. Invite her to a motel? Okay, no.That was his male hormones speaking. To top it off, how was he even hanging out with a girl? That was almost as impossible as division by zero.

Confused? Welcome to his world.

Reno absent -mindedly gnawed at his Choco Bar (A limited edition: Mythical Mystery).Maybe a little flashback would help?

The day had started pretty normally. He had woken up by falling from his bed, tripped on his way down the stairs and had chugged down three meat sandwiches with plenty of syrup and a large helping of cake. (No, that wasn't a bit too much. A man needed his food, didn't he?)Fifteen minutes later, Reno was hanging on for his dear life in an overcrowded train. Thankfully his spacious body gave Reno more room to breathe.

At school, he had run into Greg, his best/only friend.

"Wassup? Any new gossip?", he had asked.

" Rumours are that we would be getting a new transfer student...."

"In class 1-A? In Nerd Heaven?"

"Seems so. Apparently her old school closed down suddenly."

"It's a 'she'? How do you know?"

Greg winked, "From Mike."

That had made sense. Mike was the King of Online Stalkers.Give him a headstart and the guy could dig up just about anything you wanted to know about X.

Of course,you needed to pay him well for it. What happened to people who don't pay the fixed price of a McBurger treat? That stuff has made its way into School Legends.

Reno would have interrogated Greg a bit more, but the school bell interrupted their conversation.

Reno scrambled into his seat just as Mr. Adams, their homeroom teacher came in.

"Good morning! Are you done turning in your career survey forms?"

Nobody nodded. Reno guessed everyone was just as confused as he was. The future was even scarier than that 1998 horror movie he had seen back in fourth grade.

"Maybe Reno would like to say something on this apparent lack of interest in career surveys?"

I would?-Reno had thought to himself. But his 'good boy' instincts wouldn't let him say that aloud.

"I think everyone is still guessing and cross-guessing their choices? I mean its the future after all."

Behind his back, Reno heard some very unflattering synonyms of 'teachers' pet'. Some of them were quite the literary statement. The others just kept glaring daggers at him. Apparently they hated him 'sucking up' to teachers.

"Oh. I almost forgot,we have a new transfer student.", Mr. Adams remembered.

Everyone looked at Mike . Mike flashed a victory sign, basking in the light of success. 

(Wait...Sorry, that was the LED. Success wasn't that bright.)

" Come in."

Cliché alert! In walked the hottest girl in the entire world. How was she hot? In every way. She had a grey T-shirt donned on with denims. Her blonde hair was the perfect shade of golden, tied back in a bun. She had a chocolate-y complexion and a lovely pair of lavender eyes. Also her three sizes...okay, sorry, he had gotten a little distracted.

"Reno, have you seen her somewhere before?"

Great, Mr. Adams! Just great! Now she would know that he had been staring at her shamelessly. The class snorted.

"Um,no Sir. Sorry about that."

The girl looked at him but said nothing. Reno figured that Natural Selection had just kicked him out.

"Hello, I am Elsa Steiner. I have transferred here to Springdale. Looking forward to studying with you."

The rest of the day had gone by quickly, with the other students taking Elsa under their wing. Reno realised he had no chance with her, which really wasn't the biggest surprise of his life.

Or so he had thought.

Reno looked at Elsa. She was still relishing her Cornetto. For the first time, Reno regretted not reading 'Dating a Girl made Easy: 50 ways to make Her yours'.

"Icarus."

Elsa's soft-spoken voice broke Reno's chain of thought.

"Huh?"

"You found the Sceptre of Doom. It has the Icarus emblem."

Reno looked at the ice-cream stick in his hand. He had no idea why the stick of apocalypse would be so........normal. And he had absolutely no idea why the Scepter would be an ice-cream stick. As far as he knew ice cream sticks were usually harmless (unless poked in the eye or something). The stick had nothing out of ordinary, except for a design that showed an angel falling down.

Reno was seriously wondering whether Elsa was a bit off in her head when the cat started to talk.

"You need to hand it over to the Guild", the suddenly-very-talkative cat on Elsa's back pack mewed.(Trust Reno, there was nothing cute about a talking cat with a Californian accent).

" You talk?", Reno asked.

"Now why is that a problem?, the cat snuffed.

Reno wanted to point out that normally when people saw cat pictures on backpacks talk,it was a good sign that they were going crazy. 

Or it could have been an illusion.

Illusions!

The brainwave hit Reno like a football to the face.

Everything suddenly made sense to him. Of course, he was hallucinating! Jeez, Mom had been right. He needed to cut down on his late night studying. There was no way he would ever hang out with a girl otherwise, or find out that he had been licking the stick of doom.

Reno had to stifle a giggle from his throat, which made him sound like he was choking on oxygen.

His nerd instincts kicked in. This was amusing! He was probably the first human to be conscious in a hallucination. Well, technically, it was his subconscious that was creating everything he saw, wasn't it? Suddenly everything seemed a lot more interesting. Well, he might as well enjoy the hallucinations.

" Yeah, why not?", he smiled, "Let's go. Might as well see how this ends."