Sometimes she cries herself to sleep. She doesn't know why. She doesn't have a reason. She just does. It feels good to cry and just let it all out. Her whimpers echoe throughout the house but they are never acknowledged. To her, that makes sense- people never notice what they don't want to. And so her silent sobs fill the emptiness of her room, bouncing of the walls and back to her.
In the morning, her eyes will flutter open and she will realise her mistake. And then, she will crave emptiness and loneliness. She will wish to be left in peace and she will cage the horrible things inside her until finally, one day she will truly break. But for now, she lets it out in those nightly cries and silent breakdowns that plague her life for there is no other form of relief. No one can truly grasp the extent of her idiotic self pity.
If she wanted, she could walk out of her room with a genuine smile. But that's not what she wants.
There's no reason for her to feel the way she does right now. In fact, if she tried, she could be happy but instead, she chooses the self destructive path.
She knows but still she doesn't care.
Its why she never gets the joke or never sees the funny side.
It's why she has forgotten what a genuine smile is.
It's why she can't remember what it means to be herself.
It's why the shallow lines covered by her watch strap don't bother her but rather release her.
And, it's why she locks herself up in her room, hating herself for what she's doing to herself.
She is ruining herself but she doesn't know how to stop.
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She Knew
TeenfikceBefore. Now. After. She knew what she was doing before and she knows what she's doing now. To some it may seem stupid and she knows it is but still she strives to achieve what others know is impossible and she is willing to break every part of her a...
