𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙙 - e.d. [ completed ]

Eight

WARNING: this chapter may be triggering to some of you, it includes an act of severe sexual assault, self-harm, anxiety, and experiencing panic attacks. If you do not feel comfortable with reading this please skip the chapter I'll insert a brief summary at the end.

Also, please don't be afraid to message me, if you find yourself in any kind of situation similar to this. If you are suffering with depression or anxiety, I'm always here to talk.

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Emma

Grandma came back sooner or later. And Ethan and Melanie had to leave. Of course not before Ethan put his number into my phone, and texted himself a casual 'hi'.

I still couldn't seem to understand why he was being so nice to me. I wasn't used to the affectionate relationship he seems to have with everyone. He seems to be happy, carefree and energetic all the time.

I'm jealous, being the complete opposite. Which makes it even harder for me to understand why he would want to hang out with me. People like Ethan don't usually hang out with people like me.

But then again, Ethan isn't ordinary. He feels special. His heart seems genuinely kind and concerned for any being. I feel like I could have killed someone, and Ethan would still manage to see the good in me.

I don't deserve Ethan. I don't want to pull him down. I'm always going to be a weight to Ethan. I'm always going to be holding him back.

Deep down inside of me I want him to be my friend. I want him to fight for me, when I can't. I want to be able to trust someone. I need someone to help me, when I don't feel like I can help myself anymore.

Which seems to be now.

I stare at my phone, in bed at three p.m. wondering what to say. He already replied to himself, with a 'hi beautiful.' I blushed, and I blushed hard.

I wonder if it's to late for me to reply.

Of course it is. It's three am. He's sleeping you dumb ass.

But I want to reply. Something is telling me to.

I mean, he is probably sleeping, but if he is, he's going to see the text in the morning if he doesn't see it now, so what do I have to lose?

I'm just gonna do it.

hey

r you asleep?

That seems casual enough right?

I set the phone down on the bed, as I roll onto my side and get more comfortable.

I expected him to not reply, but I got surprised, when my phone vibrated, my heart jumping.

not anymore