Be My Soldier || Before you Exit

"Im sorry"

Chapter 4

I turned around and surely it was him.

" Riley I thought you would be back after an hour?" I looked at Connor and he was smiling at me.

" yup but then Thomas was such a girl he didn't want to go." He turned to his brothers and pout at them.

I coughed awkwardly and all of their heads turned to me. " Oh yeah, Riley meet Ella, Ella meet Riley he's also my brother." He turned to me and smiled.

I just cant get to move out of my spot. I was frozen. I looked back and forth from him to Connor and I don't know what to do. I just muttered a 'Sorry' and ran past him and out of the bus. I ran to my car and quickly shut the door.

I was sobbing to myself and my body is literally shaking Hard. It just hurts me to remember that day. It all flooded back to me. the rope and the blood on the floor and the razor. I just hate myself right now and my life is not better. I just wanted to feel that metal against my wrist and I miss the feeling of being free even just for a few minutes. I miss it so much. I didn't know what I was doing. I rummage through the drawers of the car and found it. A cutter. I kept it for defending myself but now Im using it for myself. I don't know what happened to my life. My family, they hate me. I pressed the metal on my wrist and put pressure on it until it draws blood. I did it again and again. It just felt so...so right.

After minutes I think I just did 10 cuts or more. but I don't care. I felt free and satisfied. I rested my head on the headrest and I felt lightheaded.

I must look like a wreck, with my makeup running and blood on my shirt. Everything is a mess. I don't know why but I cried again. Im so pathetic. My sight was so blurry that I did not see anyone coming towards my car and to my door. I heard it opening and someone shaking me. But I can't hear him or her.

The person probably saw my cuts because he inhaled sharply and muttered some inappropriate words. It carried me and I was trying to fight It off but my senses wasn't helping me.

"Ella what have you done?" Those were the last words I heard before I was swallowed by darkness.

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