Diary of Anne Miller ( sad story)

Chapter Three

Anne Miller 2008 (freshman year)

***

It was living.
When I had walked in I never felt more alive when I stepped into the house. There was blaring music that made me feel deaf, lights that made everything dim to the whole truth of parties, and chaos all around. It wasn't the chaos I was used to, it was the chaos of beauty and it definitely was something I could get used to.

  The first thing that happened was being handed a red solo cup by some random dude with a toga on. (Now, you may think this is a frat party given the toga but trust me... it was completely normal teenage party and he was the only person wearing a toga...so, calling to question, was this a frat boy?) I didn't mind and I chugged the whole cup down.
I don't remember too much from that night because I was severely intoxicated but I do remember very select things.
And it was in fact a few days before I could even attempt to remember anything, and write this.

"Anne! Did...you see that bear! It was huge and... fuzzy and had these teeth! Grrrr! Ahhh!" I giggled madly at her drunken stupor throwing an arm over her shoulder. "This is the best day ever!" I shouted, and I vaguely remember singing the horrific song It's the best day ever by Spongebob SquarePants.

I'm not proud, but damn, it was fun.
At that party it was the first time I drank and I understand perfectly why Dad did it....it made me forget everything and I was numb all over. It felt amazing, I felt amazing.
"Come dance with me baby girl," a voice had purred in my ear, I smiled goofily and nodded.
Me and this stranger danced for what seemed like forever, but, that wasn't the bad part of dancing with a stranger.

He gave me a drink, and of course I drank it.
It tasted different, I assumed it was a different drink. But of course, I was wrong yet again.
My body felt heavy and I was suddenly very tired, I was hanging onto consciousness by a thread. "I'm sleepy," I complained to the stranger he laughed lightly, "Come on, I'll get you up to bed..." I remember being taken into a room, it was dark and I was laid on the bed. I saw his sinister smirk crept onto his face; I saw him undo his pants...
And that was the last thing I saw.

***

   Being raped took everything from me as it seemed.
Not only did I hurt physically I also hurt emotionally -- to be blunt... I hurt all over.
It started in the deepest spot of my dull, drained soul... and then it spread. I thought abuse was bad, well, that was until I was raped.
And Anne, you know what the worse part was? You had these marks and bruises to prove you were another rape victim.

The bruises started from my back.... to my neck where brutal love marks were claiming my neck.
I had to wear a turtle neck for a week, what makes things worse is that I always had a reason to remember because of nightmares that haunted me. The beatings were just a substitute to feel numb.

    School was actually my only savoir. Today seemed to be the best day of all, my parents have been gone for a few days and I don't know where they went but I think I've been at my most happiest.
"No!" I laugh covering my face shoving Callie away, she rolls her eyes. "Oh come on, if you don't think Channing Tatum is hot then something I'd wrong with you," I shake my head about to say something but I'm interrupted by a voice beside me.

"No, she thinks I'm hot which that means nothing is wrong with her," Anthony winks, I cringe scowling.
"I think you're repulsive actually," I dismissed, Callie laughs and Anthony raises an eyebrow. "Ok sweet cheeks, see you in gym." He winked yet again and returned back to his seat, we were in Mr. Webb's class waiting for him to return after going to talk to a student who had a mental breakdown during class.

Her name is Ashley Belle and she was once Anthony's girlfriend until they broke up for some stupid reason I can never remember. 
There was something unsettling about Ashley and Anthony; I could never put my finger on it because I was too naïve at the time but slowly and surely....
We learned about them....
Didn't we Anne? Remember what they did?

  It was getting a lot hotter since it's early April, a lot of months have passed since school started and I think I adjusted well to highschool.
I'm seriously ready for this school year to be over with, I've never hated a year more.
Back to the hottest weather of April, due to this, we had to play dodgeball in these ridiculous short shorts and a tank top. I hated that, we had to shower after we played dodgeball in which I was hit multiple times.

  The showers were in an open area but had closed stalls, I was thankful for that because I still had faint bruises.
I typically always waited until everyone was done to get out and dress but today was different, I had thought everyone was gone and when I got out with the towel draped around me it was suddenly yanked away and there were lots of laughing and picture taking as I struggled to cover myself. 

I saw the girl who had done it too; it was Ashely.
She gave me a fake pouty face in sympathy and I ran and hid behind some lockers and I wept.
This day was supposed to be different, but so was a lot of things, but now the whole girl population knew I had marks that are proof of lost battles. 

And it wasn't the last lost battle I'd ever lose.

***

  Getting home was filled with fear, I knew both my parents were back and I knew nothing good would come from it.
"This house is an absolute mess! I can't believe there's dust on my TV!" I heard my mother exclaim, I winced a little as I close the door to my home and suddenly a glass cup was thrown and busted near my head.
I already felt the tears well up,
"I cannot believe what a good for nothing daughter we have! We should've sent her to that farm years ago!" That was the first time I felt overwhelming anger, it was the first time I imagined my fist hitting her face and the image was satisfactory.

If only....
We knew what would happen a little later.

"I'm.... I'm sorry, I just had to do homework and I missed a spot but I promise I'll get right on it!" I stuttered, she scowled. "Bryan! Tale her to the closet!" Panic rose within me as my dad grabbed me and threw me into that closet all alone.
I was screaming and crying wanting out...
All I could think was...
Maybe I'll pass out.