Sanctuary of the Saints

You're in my Head

Leaving the classroom after the bell with long strides, trying to push that embarrassing moment out of my mind, I made my way down the hall to second period.

I looked around in the small classroom, this one with no windows but with posters of biblical proverbs scattered on the wall.

Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.

Not the time, Damian.

He pouted some and forced his way into the front of my thoughts and very loudly spoke.

You know, you could be just a little religious.

I sighed, I did know I could be. But I don't want to be, I just don't see a point. Not that there's absolutely nothing beyond death, but not a time-out place for bad children and a reward place for good. It's brainwashing people to have morals just to get a happy ending.

When I was alive, I believed of a God.

Damian, you can't even explain what happened and how you got in my head.

Hey now, douche dick. I just remember having a car accident with my family, hitting my head and feeling me being pulled out and shoved into something. Sorry I ain't a fucking spiritual wiz.

Just...be quiet. Please. Damian quieted down and slipped back into his place, letting me think clearly.

How did he come to be in my head? I was just a toddler when I realized there was another person thinking, talking, and living inside my head. Damian made me promise not to tell, but the foster parents would always return me and say that I talk to myself.

"Ade?" Maria whispered from beside me. Fucking great, now I got purple haired priss pants trying to talk to me.

"Yeah," I said, looking over and smiling slightly.

"What was that about? Last period?" She prodded me with her eyes and poked at me with her words. Go away, please.

"Just, I don't know. Nothing." I said, looking back at my desk and doodling a bit. I could feel a stare of desire for more information but bitch, I'm not a text book.

No flowing river of knowledge from this guy.

The attitude I had acquired was more of Damian's than my own. Subtle was me, loud was he. Everything was opposite with this prick, and I'm getting fed up with it.

Hey, fuck you. I don't wanna be stuck here either, your brain is like a ghost town. No thoughts.

I ignored him, my patience had become very large after I spent a while with this guy. Just breathe...and let it go. Fighting him with thoughts would be pointless.

I just wish he would go away, but then there's this feeling that I would be alone. Totally alone.

Mom and Dad disappeared years ago without a trace and I have no other relatives. Dead or disappeared. I figured my parents got out while they can, couldn't keep a lunatic son.

I had a friend once. Name was...uh...

Aelred, you moron.

Oh yeah! Yeah, Aelred. He was always laughing and smiling, even when he was being yelled at or punished by the nuns. Such a happy spirit.

He and I, were inseparable. Playing cards, tossing a ball, and telling stories, we were the outcast. His love for the same gender made him a sin, and being in a Christian environment with tons of nuns, you would think they beat the gay out of him.

I guess having a voice inside my head is better than being openly gay. Homosexuality can be diagnosed or is accepted. Not that it's a disease and whatnot, just no one really knows the science.

Making a pinky promise to Aelred to always be positive, I tried. I tried my heart out. But his gave out first, he had a hole in his heart as an infant and all it did was grow with time.

Late in the summer, he passed away in his sleep. Never said goodbye, but I probably couldn't have. I pinky swore and lately, I've been breaking it.

I'm a 16 year old boy, with a voice inside my head, along with the hell of going to the 6th circle of hell for school and then being forced to be a good boy.

You could try to be normal, once in a while.

I try! I really do! But you come around to screw it up.

He sighed in my head and I felt the warm air push against my ears. Ew. I hate when he does that.

"Adrian, what is the 5th commandment?" Sister Stephanie asked me, I jolted in my seat from the surprise slightly.

"Uh...thou shall not kill....?" I trailed off, not really knowing what thou meant in the first place. I mentally facepalmed myself. Shit.

"Wrong. If you're not going to pay attention, I'll have Father Garett deal with you." I nodded and pretended to pay attention for the remaining minutes of the class.

You're such an idiot! I swear, you're trying to get us beaten!

I wish I could only beat you, in the face, with a large heavy object. Like a brick. Or a boulder.

That escalated quickly.

Shut up, please. That's all I ask until we get home.

Fine, but you're not fun.

He slunk back and I got my mind back to myself.

No fun? Yeah I know. I'm such a bummer sometimes.

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Author's Note:

Saint Aelred is the patron saint of friendship, and his relationship was men has been widely speculated as homosexual.

Saint Susanna is the patron saint of martyrs.