Lost - Reader x Park Jihoon Fanfic (Produce 101)

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Jihoon's POV

Shit.

When will she realize that I really loved her. Not in just a friendly way.

But it's better this way, rather than her founding out. Because it would only hurt her if we can't be anything more than this because of our career, about the other things.

"Ne." She replied me, and pulled away.

Damn, I wish the hug would last forever. I missed her so much.

The atmosphere between us was tense for a moment, and I saw that her expression's dropped.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked, though I pretty much knew that whatever causes that frown is because of me.

"No, it's just-. Nevermind." And she only looked down sadly on the floor.

For as long as I can remember, Joo Woon and Mina had always told me how insensitive I am. How I never made the move, never showed her my true feelings.

Heck, it's not that I'm that stupid, it's just the consequences are too big for her.

I know that she loves me. I'm only messing her thoughts all the time so that she won't even realize that we love each other.

So that she thought we're just merely friends, though it has always been something much more than that.

Because I don't want her to get hurt.

Hurt by the media.

Hurt by the contract.

Hurt by me. I can't protect her in this state.

Hell, this is too complicated and hard. I wish things could be easier. And I always thought that this was the best way.

But damn, I love her too much, and it fucking hurts.

Your POV

"I'm sorry." Jihoon suddenly said, his face unreadable. It's like a mixture of anger, sadness, and, confused? It's like he's trying to contain whatever emotions he had behind.

Before I could console him, Mina came in between our conversation, cutting of the tension between us.

"Jihoon, the director's calling you. He said he needed to talk to you about your progress and status, and asap." She said, and Jihoon's expression changed to a pissed one. He's usually never this emotional.

"Sure." He answered in a straight tone, and took his leave in a blink. He slammed the door hard, and leaved us all in shock.

Did I do something wrong?

"What happened between you both? I never saw him that pissed." Mina questioned, looking extra concerned.

"I don't know. He's looking fine just a minute ago." I answered sadly, and stared blankly on the wooden flooring of the room.

The three of us waited for a while, and Jihoon quickly came back to the room. But he only went to pick up his belongings, with his face furious and almost exploding, and went outside. He did not greet us, nor even look at us.

"Hey man, what's the deal?!" Joo Woon ran after him and shouted at him, but he was nearly out of sight anymore. It's so uncomfortably weird.

A second ago he was hugging me, and the second next he doesn't even look at me anymore.

I hurriedly stood up, and ran for Jihoon.

"Park Jihoon!" I shouted, as I paced up to his long steps.

My voice echoed through the long halls, and people were looking at us. But nonethelessly, he kept pretending not to hear me.

It made my blood boil. I took all my energy and ran even faster to catch him. As soon as he's at my reach, I grabbed his shoulders hard, almost knocking us both down.

He only stopped, and at last turned his shoulders, and I could see his angered face.

"What?!" He angrily shouted at me. His face is really furious, and it feared me, because I have never seen this side of him.

"Why did you run off like that? Is there something wrong, oppa?!" I collected my bravery and asked.

Jihoon only shrugged. "Nothin. I'm just really busy, please get out of my way."

"Seriously?! You said that you're free today." I crossed my arms, and tried to not tremble when I saw his pissed off look in his eyes.

"I just remembered I had some stuffs to do." Jihoon said as he averted his gaze from me to other things.

"I know it when you lie, Jihoon oppa." I said firmly. He remained silent for a while, until he decided to turn and walked again.

I quickly ran after him again. "Hey, I'm not do-"

"You don't know anything about me, (yn)! So stop fucking following me!" Jihoon shouted, almost gaining attention from the whole staff at that hallway.

I only looked at him confused, tears started to form in my eyes and they quickly rolled to my cheeks.

And he only stared at me blankly. Almost with no emotions. He didn't even hug me or console me.

The Jihoon I know would.

I walked a bit closer to Jihoon, with my sobs visible. I managed myself to whisper to him. "I'm sorry Jihoonie, if I ever did something wrong to you."

My sobs started to get more awful, and I could feel that Jihoon is looking at me painfully. But he didn't do anything.

Fortunately, Mina and Joo Woon had caught up to us, and Mina quickly pulled me into a hug.

"Are you freakin bipolar now, Jihoon?" Joo Woon said in an angry tone.

Rather than causing more scene, Jihoon only walked away from us.

And soon he's out of sight from us.