ROYAL

Chapter 5

What is wrong with me? Well that is what I have been asking myself for the past three days. Why can't I be happy that finally something good is happening in my life, something that is quite normal. Isn't that I've always told myself I want to experience. Not only I'm I angry at myself, Cara my wolf is angry with me. She has been giving me the cold shoulder since I pulled that stupid stunt where I did not accept my mate, according to her own understanding thats how it came out. Well, turns out my mates wolf and her have a connection and she says she can feel the sadness that him and his wolf are experiencing.

I have been keeping myself busy so that I don't have to think about the matter further. Even Charlie is quite annoyed with me,its just that he can't avoid talking to me since we basically are working together and he is my brother.  He recently told me that I should get my shit together and face reality, I quote. You know I don't understand why everyone is so bothered about me talking to my mate and everyone claiming I have rejected him. I most certainly have not rejected him, nobody deserves that, its just that its taking longer than usual for me to accept that I belong to someone and that someone is an Alpha a shy one at that and I am going to become the Luna of this pack which means I will have duties the most important I have to protect this people. I'm not scared of the duties, well I still don't know what I am scared of.

So here I am taking a walk around the pack thinking about it and the more I think about it the more I see how immature this is. I have to accept reality and that means I have to be with my mate. The moon goddess put us together for a reason. I can't imagine how he must have been feeling all this time, hurt, that is for sure. I must go and apologize and tell him if maybe we can start a fresh. I don't care if people find out we are mates, actually I want them to find out.Maybe it will stop the stares I receive from most boys,stripping me with their own eyes,when they know I belong to their future Alpha. I smiled at that. Now I just have to find James, what a sexy name for a sexy boy. 

Its at night and I was just rounding up the corner so that I can enter the pack house from behind through the kitchen. This is because of all the attention I have been receiving, being the princess and all. You can't imagine how many kids I have had to carry, how many pictures I had to take with people. I don't like the attention,so I have been sneaking out through the back doors especially when I want some peace. 

"You are such a shame to even call yourself the next Alpha of this pack, you are weak and such a piece of shit, do you hear me," I stopped myself in my tracks and hid myself behind a bush and watched the scene unfold in front of me. James was on the floor holding on to his stomach and above him was Arnold and two other boys who were laughing. My hands formed into fists but I held myself down. I wanted to see what else he would do to my mate. He kicked James on his stomach causing him to fly a few feet away from them.

"Pathetic,"Arnold said just before he and his friends turned and walked away. Immediately when they were out of sight I ran to James who was coughing blood. He was trying to stand up but he was failing at that. 

"Let me help you,"I said as I tried to help him stand to his feet. 

"What are you doing here?"he looked surprised to see me. 

"Come on."I didn't answer his question and instead focused on helping him get on his feet. 

"No leave me alone, you haven't been acknowledging my presence then right now you act like you care, so just stop." He pulled himself away from me causing him to fall to the ground. He had every right to be mad cause if I was in his shoes I would have being furious but this was neither the place or the time to start this argument with him.

"Please can we just talk about this later right now you need medical attention."I said as I tried once more to lift him up to his feet. He was heavy and it took so much strength to lift him up. 

"Relax it will heal, its not like this is the first time."The last part he whispered and if it wasn't for my wolf hearing I wouldn't have heard that. I had to release my breath because so far I was holding in my anger and was trying to stop my self from going after Arnold and his lousy friends and beating their asses.

"But still you need someone to look at you and make sure nothing is broken."

"Just stop! I don't want anyone checking up on me, I have survived this far with the torture I'm sure I can survive another day."He said it angrily and I knew he was hurting no matter how much he tried not to show it. I felt guilty, he was my mate and I hurt him so bad but I had to make it up to him. He began walking to the direction of the house and I followed.He was pretending to not limp every time we passed near people then he would go right back to it when we were alone.He took the elevator to the fourth floor and I silently joined him. The silence between us was uncomfortable and the fact that he kept holding his stomach and groaning in pain made me feel worse than I already did. Cara,my wolf, whined on seen her mate suffer, I knew the lecture she would give me would be endless after this.  

On reaching our floor he began to make his way to his room which was at the far end of the hallway and when he saw me follow he turned to me, glaring at me

"What do you want? Don't you have better things to do than care about your worthless mate?" The way he called himself worthless just ticked me off.

"You are not worthless, you are nothing but worthless, I didn't respond back to you because I was in shock the first time, I couldn't believe that the person the goddess has set for me to live the rest of my life with was standing in front of me, I was also angry at myself for not telling you how happy I was deep inside that I had found you, I was just scared thats all. I was on my way to find you and talk to you when I found you on the ground. I was on my way to ask you if maybe we can start a fresh and give us a chance."

He looked shocked after my speech

"A-Alex...."It was the first time he called my name and damn was it sexy coming out of his mouth. 

"Its fine, I understand you're angry how I treated you but so you should know I'm angry at myself too." I whispered the last part but he seemed to must have also heard because he went silent just looking at me.

"Are you sure you're not just talking to me out of pity? Because if its that you don't have to waste your energy,its fine, I'm fine." He had a sad smile and that just broke my heart.

Why didn't I listen to Charlie and come and talk to him sooner,maybe I would not have gone through all this process of having to convince him that I want to this.

He then didn't even give me a chance to respond so he just turned and got in his room and I was left there wondering what the hell to do next.

I don't know if this is where you walk to your best friend and ask for relationship advice because frankly I have never been in a relationship I just know relationships based on the many novels I read back home.

Argh! Now my mate hates me, I thought to myself but the way he looked at me told a different story. Desire, hope I think is how I could interpret it and maybe that was the only hope I was holding on too that this is not over. That him and I are not over.

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