Pandora's Box

My name is Pandora and I am a businesswoman.

I've got morals for sale!
I acknowledge you all.
I've got marijuana and cigarettes and even alcohol.
Line up dear ladies!
Gather around, look at all of my props.
I will be your personal Pandora, and this here will be my box.

I've got beauty for sale!
I've got thick, I've got thin!
I've got glorious fashions,
I've got animal skin!
I'll start with a simple touch up,
I'll have you looking fly.
I'll make you attractive to women,
I'll make you attractive to guys.
Now let's make something clear, let's make something plain.
I will make up your exterior, only in trade for your brain.
Come on, you won't need it with a husband and kids.
Why what's a woman without looks?
Overbearing pigs!

I've got dreams for sale!
I will be your mind reader.
For all will be great, there will be only men leaders.
For what's a woman up against a man?
A fool, I'll tell you that.
A ruthless little brat.
A naked mole rat.

I've got attitude for sale!
With me, your strut will be so clean.
Your class will be so priceless, your elegance will be so mean.
For what's a woman without attitude?
A prune, I'll tell you that.
A large knowledge vat.
A coward who's struck out at bat.

I've got love for sale!
I've got love here for all.
I'll have him begging at your feet,
I'll have them yearning for your call.

I've got ignorance for sale!
Men it's time for your lineup.
But before we start, I'll need your brain too
here, put it in this cup.
Who ever heard of a man who thinks for himself?
Ewe, that is not what's up!

I've got lust for sale!
I've got the women of your dreams.
What kind of man sticks to one woman?
Dude, they're so foreign and bad you won't believe!
Living a faithful life?
Marriage?
Why it's as boring as it seems!

I've got riches for sale!
Only in return for your soul.
For what's a man without his riches?
A pointless bum in a pointless hole.
I've got coins, I've got millions, I'll make your wallets right.
I've got thousands and racks, your pockets will be hot.
Yes, I'm talking Fahrenheit.

I've got masculinity for sale!
I've got the fye, I'll be the plug.
I'll give you rap skills and ball game, and I'll even give you drugs.
But quiet!
We'll have to keep it on the low.
And if you ever get caught, it is me you don't know.
For what's a man who can't ball? Who can't rap? Who isn't tall?
A little boy who should merely be ignored by all.

I've got fame for sale!
I'll have all of your shows sold out.
I'll have your net worth higher than you can imagine,
I'll guide you through the fast route.
You'll have fans worldwide.
It is your name which they will shout.

So fellow worldly citizens, you were blind but now you see.
It is me who you shall crave and want.
It is my box which you will need.
Well, my work here is done.
But I'll be back in a week.
Farewell, ladies and gentlemen, I hope that you are pleased.
My name is Pandora, this box is my business, and I represent society.