I wish I had the courage
To tell you all those things
The things that scared me to no abandon
But alas, opening up scares me
I wish I could explain to you why I did what I did
But I know you must hate me now
And I would never blame you for that
I would never blame you for anything
Why you might ask
Because I am at fault here
Sometime I wish you had asked me why
And maybe, just maybe I would've said why
But I think you're better off without me
Trust me, you are
You should know that when I say this
It does not mean that I don't care about you
I do more than I thought I could
Maybe if this had happened a few years ago
You would've met a better person
She was a very kind soul and gentle too
But she changed into what I am now
I had thought that I lost who I was
But you made me realize that I didn't
You made me care
I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't get attached
But your persistence and gentleness wormed in
Making me let my guard down
It scared me to death
Because I didn't want to get hurt
If I did get hurt, there would've been no turning back
But didn't want that to happen
I do not want to be driven by anger
It is one side of me I'd rather not wake
I would've been sad maybe even happy
Any emotion would've been better
But not knowing what you feel
It drives me crazy
It makes me even more heartbroken
And it also makes me think
That I meant nothing to you
That you lied to me
And if that is the case
Please do not tell me that
I don't know what would happen if you did
All I know is that it won't be good
But if I hurt you, no words can explain
How sorry I am, to you
I have to thank you though
For making me understand that
I was capable of loving someone
Even though it scared the hell out of me.
