Nothing But A Lie

Chapter 22

Cali's POV

I didn't want to go to Bradley's house after seeing that Krista wasn't going to open her door, but for some reason part of me couldn't bare to be alone that night. All I could feel was broken inside because I felt as though I lost my sister. But that didn't mean that I was going to talk to Brad either. The minute I got inside his house, I took to the couch and curled myself into a small ball and fell fast asleep.

Of course he asked me if I wanted to talk about it, but even if I wanted to, there didn't seem to be a single word that could come out.

Trevor loves me. It never really crossed my mind because all this time I thought all we had was a sort of brother/sister kind of love. My heart clenched when those words poured out of Bradley's mouth, and for the rest of the night I couldn't seem to make sentences myself. I didn't want to ask Brad if Trevor had any other feelings for me, but after he kissed me, all I could think about was the idea that maybe he liked me more than a friend.

I don't bother waiting for Bradley to get up especially since it's Saturday and knowing him he'll probably be asleep until noon. Instead I creep toward the front door and slip outside, not wanting to cause any attention from anyone else in the house. My back is sore probably from the way I slept last night, but his brand new couch sure does beat the ground any day.

I shouldn't have pulled away from Trevor the way I did last night. I shouldn't have neglected Krista when I know she wanted to hang out with me. I'm not even sure what to do at this point. Most girls would run to their best friend and tell them that the guy they love kissed them.

Wait. Did I just say I love Trevor?

I take a seat on a bench by a bus stop once I'm outside, too overwhelmed by everything to continue standing. I love Trevor. I always did, but this love is different this time.

It's not the love I would have for my brother if I ever had one, where I would feel the need to protect him from girls and make sure he's okay if our parents ever fought. This love makes my heart jump whenever he's around, and every time he asks me what's wrong, I want him to never leave me.

What the fuck Cali. Why did it take you so long to realise it?

The roaring engine of the city bus comes crawling up to the stop, and I nearly jump out of my seat because of the sudden urge I have to tell Trevor everything. But then I remember - I have to tell Trevor everything. Now that I've admitted to myself that I love Trevor more than I thought, it's time to tell him everything that has been my life. I sit back down on the bench and cover my face with my hands, refraining from crying into them. What if he doesn't love me back once I tell him everything about me? I've been fucking lying to him for years and now I'm deciding to tell him.

"Are you getting on, girly?" I uncover my hands from my face and find the familiar bus driver looking at me from inside her bus. The same woman who saw me sleeping in the bus cubicle that one morning.

"Erm, yeah, sorry," I reply, getting up from my seat. I'm just about to brush passed the bus driver to find a spot to sit, when she grabs a hold on my wrist. My head doesn't lift to look her in the eyes, but when she speaks all I can picture are her big brown eyes looking at me worriedly, like a mother would with her daughter. "What's your name, Girly?" It takes me so much effort to reply, but I know that it's fair to her if I were to just reply with my name. "Cali."

Her hand drops from my wrist, but I can feel her still continuing to look at me. "Are you alright, Cali?"

I'm not sure why, but after those words rang through my ears, I felt the urge to look at her. Her eyes are suddenly bright when I meet them, and by now I can take in all of the crevices and freckles that are placed so unevenly across her face. "I'm okay," I sigh, "Thank you." I force a heavy smile, to which she returns to me. I hardly know her, but hearing her say those words to me, has me feeling happier than I did a few moments ago.