Slipped from my fingers

-5-

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Sitting silently on the chair, the only noise was that of the fan above and the hustling trees outside the window. Looking outside the window, my thoughts went back to the very recent incidences from today.

Terrance walking out of the class sternly after he told me to meet him here in his cubicle.

Did he even realize how much hurt I was by his actions? Nobody in this college ever treated me like that from the time I joined college. I brushed the thought away but another one popped up.

Me propping on the bench, my mind in chaos unable to believe what just happened.

Yeah, I was leading a totally peaceful life, closing the chapter of my past and starting a new one but this deep shit had to happen and life had to put me to test once more. I angrily rolled my eyes at that thought.

The thought, "will my life take a sharp turn when it had already bruised me with its sharp edges in the past?" troubled me while I walked with wobbly legs towards his cubicle.

Why did he call me so urgently? What wrong did I do now? Was it because I took his name in class and he felt insulted? Or was he going to ask me all the money that he spent on me when we were dating?

I mentally tried to calculate the amount of money he spent on me and the amount I had in my bank account.

Rs. 20000. That's enough for paying my bills and traveling expenses and food and water. I thought.

I just hope he doesn't ask for money or something because I wouldn't be able to pay him whatever he had spent on me.

Shit! These thoughts felt so stupid but it's Terrance and I knew him quite well for a very long time.

The tapping of fingers on the desk broke my chain of thoughts.

I looked at him with a straight face, hiding all the emotions I was feeling inside. His face held a mixture of emotions and this happened only when he was uncomfortable or confused. Sitting straight in front of him with his gaze burning into me made me all the more uncomfortable. He kept looking at me and opened his mouth several times as if wanting to say something but couldn't say.

Finally shaking his head, he asked, "So you took engineering?"

I just nodded my head at that. I knew he would be surprised by seeing me in an engineering college because he always considered me to be weak in studies.

*********

"What do you wanna be?" I asked him for the hundredth time even though I knew the answer. It's just that I loved to see his face light up every time he told me his ambition.

"Computer Engineer." He said smiling widely, his eyes gazing into the ocean in front of us. This has been our tenth date or so, I don't remember but every time I go on a new date with him it's the same feeling as on our first date. Every date we go on, I smile widely like I did on our first date, be shy every time he comes closer to kiss me, blush when he says 'I love you', and I just love the feeling every time he holds my hand and draw circles on my palm.

Suddenly he looked at me and saw me staring at him. He knew that I thought a lot about him, so he blew a flying kiss towards me and I blushed as I took my gaze away from his face.

Trying to break the silence, I said, "But it's so difficult. Circuits and wires and computers, so damn boring." I pouted.

The next thing I knew was that he was kissing my pout gently, the moist of his lips capturing me involuntarily as my hands went around his neck pulling him closer into me. We broke apart minutes later and he whispered in my ear, "Nothing is difficult if you have the passion to do it."