DISCONTINUED A Court Of Blood And Night (Tog & ACOTAR crossover)

17 - Feyre

Yeah, yeah, another author's note.

Readers: WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU LEAVE US ALONE AND LET US READ?!

Me: BECAUSE I HAVE SHIT TO SAY THAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME!

Anyway, I have moved Anarchy to this account, effectively making it more accessible to those who want to read it. I know none of you care, but yeahhhh...

I'd planned to stay with Rhys that night, but when I'd come out of the conjoining bathroom in my nightclothes and spotted Elain looking heartbreakingly small as she lay on the ground, the only padding underneath her being a few blankets provided by Lysandra, I'd joined her. Nobody commented as the night got darker and they could still hear her while she cried into my shoulder. Part of it may have come from my own glaring at anyone who attempted to, but I had a feeling it was more out if compassion for her. Not even Tamlin was so heartless as to snap at her-- at least, I certainly hoped he wasn't. Even a cranky Amren stayed silent.

So we were left alone while I stroked her hair and wiped her eyes. Even Nesta, normally the most protective of Elain, seemed to understand that this wasn't something she could fix, though she stayed close. I knew what it was like to feel alone in a horrible situation-- I'd felt it Under the Mountain, forced to take on trials that could take my own life, and then other's. I'd felt it again afterward, when nothing could keep my nightmares at bay and I woke up unable to tell where I was.

Nesta... She'd always had someone, even if she liked to think otherwise. Elain, Cassian... Me, even.

So she left us alone and played her own role in making sure nobody said a word, which was mostly scaring them all into silence.

One by one, they all began to fall asleep, even Elain, who cried herself to exhaustion. But sleep was slow to come, even after the craziness of the day. I lay there silently, staring up at the ceiling of the room, listening to the sounds of everyone breathing.

But Rhys broke the silence, his voice quiet as the breaths of our companions. "I know you're awake. Are you alright?"

I huffed a quiet, humourless laugh. "That is not the best word for how I am right now," I admitted. I traced the tattooed pattern on my arm with a fingertip, silent for a long time as I thought of what to say next. "Everything hit us so suddenly. Not just being dropped in an unfamiliar place, but... I hadn't expected our reunion to be like this. I thought I'd find what I needed and return home within a month or two. That we'd go through it all together and have time to digest it. Sure, it still would have been a bit of a stressful environment, but it would have been better than this." I hated that my voice cracked on the last word.

Rhys was silent for a moment, and then I heard movement from somewhere nearby. A few moments later, he stood over me, nothing more than a shadow in the looming darkness. "Come with me," he murmured, holding out a hand.

Careful not to wake Elain, I took his hand in my own and stood up on unsteady legs. My body was unbearably tired, but my mind raced faster than the winds of a storm, and I let Rhys guide me into the ajoining closet-- which was practically a room, itself. Nobody had wanted to sleep in it due to the hard wood acting as a floor. Even with blankets laids down, it was uncomfortable. I supposed, with as little sleep as we'd gotten these past couple of days, nobody was willing to sacrafice another night just to be separated from the others.

He closed the door, the click of it shutting barely audible, and in the darkness, I saw him sit on the ground. I sat across from him, close enough that our knees touched and I could see his face through the blanket of darkness. His eyebrows were drawn together concernedly, mouth a thin line. He took my hands in his and breathed, "Thought for a thought?"

I blinked in surprise. We hadn't done this since before I left the Night Court to spy on Tamlin. I traced small circles on his hand with my thumb and mumbled, "I'm thinking that this whole thing is messed up and confusing. I think that if we get out of this alive, we're taking a very long vacation somewhere." He chuckled at that, and I raised my eyes to his, losing myself in his gaze. "And I'm thinking that I missed you and the others a lot more than I realized."

His hands tightened around mine. "That was three thoughts," he teased, but I  didn't laugh, and the closet was filled with heavy silence. He finally said, "I don't trust Rowan and the others. They're hiding a lot from us, which is a problem if they expect us to fight for them. I know we're prisoners right now, but that doesn't make it any more bearable." He sighed, gently rubbing my knuckles with his thumbs.

"I'm thinking that I missed you, too. And that if you hadn't come back-- if they hadn't let you leave-- that I would have slaughtered the entire Court if that's what it took to get you home again." I could see his eyes glistening. "I was very worried that I'd have to, and was kept up most nights waiting to get a note from you or a flash in our bond asking for help. I have faith in your abilities, but if Tamlin or Ianthe or Lucien somehow found out you were going back to us, and stopped you from leaving-- if they locked you away... I have a feeling things would have gone very differently, and ended with all of them dead."

I shifted so I could wrap my arms around him. As I breathed in his scent, I murmured, "If they had locked me up, there wouldn't be anything left for you to rip apart once I was done. Nothing would have stopped me from going home to you-- to our Court."

He rested his cheek on top of my head, wrapping his arms around my waist and replied softly, "I have no doubt in my mind."

We stayed like that for a very long time, silently breathing in the other's scent. We didn't exchange any more words-- there wasn't a need to. We had gotten what we needed off of our chests.

At some point, despite the uncomfortable ground, we finally fell asleep.

Does this count as "fluff?" Is this fluff? I'm gonna say it's fluff because I don't know what fluff actually is. Fluff! Fluff everywhere! I promise more fluff is on the way (just not necessarily in the next few chapters)! Fluffier fluff is on the way!

... I just reread that and the amount of times I wrote "flu-" er... The "F" word, kinda hurt my brain. Heh. Whoops.