Regret

River O'Donnell's List of Regrets

1. Not campaigning for student council in sixth grade.

2. Not trying out for the basketball team in seventh grade.

3. Dating Eric Quincy.

4. Allowing José Cantrell to worm his way into my mind.

5. Not being silly enough for my friends.

6. Caring so much about my grades to the point where they mean everything.

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My grandmother always talked about her high school glory days. The boys she dated, the parties she went to, the friends she had and the girls she hated.

I always knew when she was going to start one of her famous stories, the ones I'd heard a thousand times but still loved anyway. It always began with her daydreaming eyes, looking out at the clouds and saying "Back in the good ol' days..."

I always rolled my eyes when she said that, but I secretly fantasied over her young adult life. She had been the athletic, pretty, rich and high up popular girl in her 1950s small town school. That was my dream. I felt I had been born sixty years too late, when all the was left of the good ol' days was dusty Elvis records and fraying poodle skirts. No more jukeboxes and rock n' roll for me. No more cute quarterbacks and leather jacket wearing bad boys. Grease was just a 1978 musical, and John Travolta was far from his glory days.

...and so was I.

I would guess that most people would look back on their life and wish to go back to high school, when they didn't have to worry about their declining hairline and growing debt. Back to the days of pretty girls and boys with gorgeous smiles. Not me. My peak wasn't in high school, that was for sure. I was the cool kid in elementary school.

Go ahead, laugh at me. I know it sounds so childish, but that's the truth. Everybody loved me back then. I was the leader of my grade, the pretty, smart girl that everyone turned to for advice and a helping hand. Every guy had a crush on me.

"River!" I was snapped out of my reverie and saw Amber and Blake bounding towards me.

"Did you see Teen Wolf last night?! Can you believe it??" Blake looked outraged.

"It was unbelievable! It was crazy!" Amber added.

I blinked my eyes a few times and stared at them blankly.

"You didn't see it," Blake said disbelievingly. "I can't believe you."

"I don't have cable, remember? Not to mention I don't watch that show."

Blake smacked his head. "Oh yeah, I forgot my best friend is out of her mind. Pardon my brief elapse of memory. It's just that no one in their right mind wouldn't watch that show."

I shrugged.

These were my friends now. Two lovable goofballs who watched wayyy too much drama. I loved them, but sometimes I had the slight twinge that I deserved better than them, and I hated that feeling, because I knew that I didn't. They adored me and accepted me, and I should be appreciative of that.

It's just that...well, it's just that I never pictured myself here. On my first day of high school, just the same as I had always been, but yet, a nobody. River O'Donnell was not a nobody.

I thought back to elementary school. I was still just as smart. And I didn't change drastically in my appearance. My mom always told me I was beautiful. I never quite believed her, but I never thought she was lying, either.