i regret you. i regret your soft lips, and your obnoxious laugh, and your love for nature. i regret letting you give me love, and showing me the happiness i was long missing. i regret ever letting you sweep me off my feet. i regret you holding me in your arms that night in the airport, in 50 degree weather. i regret letting you keep me warm, being my jacket. i regret bonding with your mother over romantic comedies; and you. of course we bonded over you. i regret you saying my name and making me smile. i regret you showing me those songs that made:::make me smile and laugh and feel like every inch of my body is tingling. i regret letting you run your fingers through my hair, and pull and push your body against mine, making me feel like lightning bolts were shooting through my veins, my everything.. i regret the night we cuddled under the stars, laughing about who knows what. i regret is driving to my dads house, and letting you meet him. letting him fall in love with you as much as i was. i regret getting down on that knee, begging and praying you'd say yes. i regret walking down that isle, holding the arm of my father. i regret crying silent tears while watching you, listening to your cracking, small voice read off your vows. i regret reading my vows off, they went like this: all i want is you, that's all. i want your curly hair and your morning breath and your obsession with small plants. i want you. and now i have you. ill never let you go. you are mine. we are us, and that is all i need. | I regret kissing you so passionately, that i thought i was in actual heaven. i regret our honeymoon, filled with a little champagne, a lot of shower sex, and many memories, which i also regret. i regret walking you to your mother's funeral, holding you while you listen to the lovely things people said about her. you were too shakey to say your speech alone, so I went up with you, which i regret so fucking much.
i regret all this because now you're disappearing, just like her. just like my father. just like all of our friends. we've created so much love, and happiness. and now youre leaving me. youre leaving me here all alone, shaking, reading this at your funeral. where are you to hold my hand? tell me it's going to be okay. i need you here to tell me you're in a better place now. i regret never telling you how much i loved.. love you. i love you. all i want is you, and you're mine. my dearest, please. please.
please.
please.
we are us.
and that is all i need.
please.
YOU ARE READING
bipolar writing
Poetrythis is bipolar writing because honestly, you never know what the fuck im going to update with. sometimes it's things about family, maybe an ex, maybe its complete fiction. you just never know. so good luck not crying and feeling shitty. :)
