I Am Still In Great Pain

~:(2):~

  Nightcore - Feel Something (Lyrics)  

       Numb. So utterly numb. When you can't discern between feeling everything all at once and nothing at all, what more can you describe yourself as? Rick knew he was human, but he wasn't at the same time. He was much more machine than he was man anymore, milling about and completing his tasks without fail. 

       He was much like a typewriter, keys wearing down only to be pressed harder in order to effectively press the letter to the paper. Morty would never give up on using him, no matter how worn down and tired he became. He would simply push harder, continue using his worn down companion, occasionally fixing him up.

       Morty would, on rare occasions, pull Rick with him to his own workshop. He would spend an hour or two improving Rick's functionality, improving his responses. Those hours were utter hell as Morty would shut Rick's body down, in a sense, leaving him unable to move anything more than his eyes. He would look around, his dull eyes holding no hint of life any longer, studying Morty's face. He never held any emotion other than annoyance, his brow furrowed as he worked at Rick. He felt more like a toy than anything in the child's hands, moved around as he saw fit. 

       Now was one such occasion, as Morty bent over his Rick, adjusting his coding, essentially. As he finished up, he set Rick back properly and gave him his motion back. Rick stood quickly, taking his familiar stance as he waited for Morty to tell him whether or not his services were required.

       After a moment, his stance never faltering, Rick uttered a simple phrase, one Morty had grown accustomed to. "Permission to speak freely." There was no influction in his voice that openly indicated it had been a question, but it was. It was the most-asked question, being the only one Rick could utter.

       Morty glanced slightly upwards into the dead eyes of his companion, his stern expression never faltering. Rick could only assume he knew the response. 

       "I'm dying to know what something like you could possibly wish to say with such an undying, fervent need. Fine, permission granted."

       If Rick was capable of showing emotions, he would have pulled the most shocked expression in the history of man. However, his expression remained the same. His brows never raised, his jaw never dropped, nor did his eyes widen in shock. Morty stared expectantly, folding his arms over his chest carefully, slowly.

       Rick began without hesitation, "I am in great pain. You must understand this, to some degree. I am still in great pain, that has never changed, nor will it ever. Do you not notice, or do you simply ignore it? I will not lie, I blame you for this. I no longer dream. I've forgotten the feeling of happiness, sadness, anger. I've forgotten what it meant to be human. Why have you left me with these memories, if all I am to you is a toy? Why have you cursed me so? Why can you not let me go?" 

       Rick remained in his stance, back straight and head high. His hands remained at his sides as he awaited Morty's answer, his free action finally used as he finished his statement. He was unable to add to his words now, having stopped speaking entirely. To speak now would be to speak out of turn, something Morty did not program him with the permission to do.

       Morty, who had been standing stone-faced only seconds before, grinned wickedly, chuckling darkly before he gave his answer. "You're mine now. You were foolish enough to trust me, all those years ago. This was your mistake. However, if you feel it necessary to place the blame on my shoulders, I take it without care. You're mine, forever. I have no intentions to ever letting you go, to ever setting you free. You are forever trapped within your mind, with those memories. You are mine until you die, either once I've tired of you or you've been bested in battle. You should realize by now, Rick, that you won't find peace for quite some time. Learn to accept that. It's all you can do."

       Inwardly, Rick released tormented screams, begging to be free. Outwardly, he remained expressionless. Morty laughed haughtily, tucking tools away in drawers. Rick felt defeated, drained. He can never escape this hell. He's trapped forever, answering to this monster.

       It's all you can do.