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Daddy's Mine

"Jungkook! Get the fuck back here!" Taehyung screams through the house. 

"No! I hate you!" Jungkook screams back.

"You little fucker," Taehyung mumbles. He runs in the direction he heard Jungkook's voice. 

-x-

"Ha! Got you!" he yanks Jungkook out of the closet by the shirt, his wedding ring falling to the ground in the process.

"See!! Your ring fell off!! Kid's will bring nothing but bad luck and bad smells!!" Jungkook yells and thrashes around in Taehyung's arms. 

"Why are you so against adopting kids?" Taehyung asks as he picks up his ring and slides it back on. 

"Because I don't want anyone else to call you Daddy!" Jungkook pouts and plops to the ground. 

"You don't even call me that," Taehyung squints his eyes at the younger. 

"So!?"

"Now I'm just confused."

"I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING SHARE YOU!" 

Taehyung jumps back in surprise from the Jungkook's loud-ass whiny voice. 

"I- what? I don't get what that even means."

"You'd have to spend time with them! That means less time for me!" Jungkook continues to whine. 

"Is that the only reason you don't want kids? We'd still have time together Kook."

"Tae if we get kids then we have to take care of the little shits. I couldn't even take care of fish let alone sticky, snotty, creepy crawly demons. No way. They wake you up like every five seconds and they slobber Tae, they fucking slobber. Like a fucking dog. And you know how much I hate dogs."

"Why do you hate everything that's living?"

"I don't. I just don't like babies and dogs."

"Why do you hate dogs by the way?"

"WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS OKAY I DON'T WANT TO RE-EXPLAIN MY TRAUMA. IT'S TRAUMATIC."

"Okay first of all chill the fuck out. Second of all, that was redundant."

"I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH OKAY AND DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING CHILL."

"I told you to 'chill the fuck out' not 'fucking chill' and I never said anything about English."

"This story's in English though."

"That doesn't mean we're speaking English."

"Yeah it does."

"No. It doesn't."

Jungkook dramatically sighs and sprints out of the house. 

-x-

"Why do you keep running away from me!?" Taehyung calls to his husband who's already halfway down the street. 

He gets no response and is too lazy to chase after him. 

-x-

"CHIM! CHIMITY CHIMIE CHIN CHIN," Jungkook bangs on Jimin's front door then proceeds to attempt to blow it down.