One Direction fan fiction: Harry Styles

Chapter Fifteen: Fears, Water, and Abandonment

 (Jessica’s Point Of View)

   ”Crunch! Crunch!” I heard from outside. It was the sound of leaves being stepped on. I slowly opened my eyes. I rubbed them gently. Zayn was still asleep. He had his arms still wrapped around me. He had his arms around me all night to protect me, and keep me warm. He was scared that I’d wake up in the middle of the night screaming and in tears. It’s been like that for the past few months now. I’ve been having horrible dreams. One’s that I’d wake up and start crying. Every time that would happen, Zayn was the first one I’d call. Though Zayn and I aren’t “together”, I do love him. He makes me feel safe, and loved. 

   I carefully shifted into a more comfortable position, making sure I didn’t wake Zayn who was fast asleep. He had one hand underneath his head, and one arm around me. I pressed my hands together, and laid them underneath my cheek as I laid my head on Zayn’s chest. I felt so safe. I haven’t had a good sleep in a while, and the fact that Zayn was there, made it easier for me to fall asleep. I closed my eyes, and tried to fall back asleep. It was hard for me to fall back asleep due to the fact that I could hear Niall outside laughing, and other voices. Also, the birds this morning were chirping even louder than usual. 

   I heard a chuckle. I opened my eyes, and looked up. Zayn was smiling at me. “What?” I smiled. “Nothing. You just look so adorable when you sleep,” Zayn flashed me a dazzling smile. Honestly, Zayn has been such a sweet heart to me. Especially in such a hard time that I’m having. 

   ”Shut up, Malik,” I laughed. He kissed me on the forehead. He took a deep breath of air. I felt his chest move because he inhaled. “Should we go outside?” Zayn asked me. Honestly, I just wanted to stay there with Zayn. I wanted to lay there with him. I stayed quiet for a while and shut my eyes. “I take that as a no?” Zayn let out a little laugh and kissed me on the cheek. He rested next to me. Soon, I was fast asleep. 

   ”Wakey wakey!” Danielle’s sweet voice woke me up as she moved her hands along the tent. I heard the wooshing sound in my ears. I slowly got up and blinked a few times. I rubbed my eyes gently. I woke up to an empty bed with only pillows and a big blanket. I was alone. Zayn probably woke up before me and decided to let me sleep. I sighed, and rolled out of bed. It seemed a little chilly outside, since it was still early. I checked my phone. It was almost ten in the morning. I guess the first time I woke up was at eight. 

   I noticed Zayn had left one of his jacket’s inside the tent laying beside me. I slipped it on, and headed outside. I noticed everyone was in a good mood. Niall was laughing with Louis and Liam. Zayn was eating and chatting with Danielle and Amy. Maggie was sitting with Aaron and Crystal. I spotted Michelle sitting on Harry’s lap with Harry had his arms around her waist/stomach. 

   ”Mornin’ sweetie!” Zayn’s head shot up. I walked over to him as I slipped on my flip flops. Everyone greeted me a good morning except for Michelle. She just looked over at me and smiled. Wow, I’m surprised she even smiled at me after everything. Kind of made me happy, I guess. 

   I took a seat next to him. Paul was eating. “I saved you some food, Jess,” Paul flashed me a smile. “Thanks,” I said kindly. Paul handed me the plate full of pancakes. He must have made them with those plug in portable grill/stoves. I picked up one of the plastic forks and knives from the basket, and cut a small piece of the pancakes. It tasted sort of plain.. it needed something.. ah, maple syrup! I spotted the bottle of maple syrup on the table, and poured it on my pancakes. I watched as the syrup oozed from the bottle. 

   ”I didn’t want to wake you,” Zayn said softly. “It’s fine,” I said as I swallowed the chewed up piece of pancake that was in my mouth. I sat there quietly as I finished up my last pancake. Zayn got me a water bottle out of the cooler. Surprisingly, It was still a little cold. I opened the bottle, and took a big gulp of the water. It was a bit refreshing if you asked me. “So, how’d you sleep?” Zayn asked me. I looked at him and smiled. “Fine,” I replied. “Did you have another one of those dreams?” Zayn asked me with worry. At that moment, I felt my stomach turn. It made me so upset. It reminded me of the reason why I’d wake up and burst out in tears in the middle of the night. I’ve had horrible dreams. Terrifying dreams. They’re different dreams. Some nights, they’ll be of a fire, or people dying. Sometimes, they’d be dreams of my mom. I mean, I was too young to understand. My dad told me that when I was younger, she didn’t want anything to do with me. So.. she left. She left me and my dad. I was only about maybe four or five years old. I grew up without a mom. I used to cry. Sometimes, I’d blame myself as If I did something that made her not want me. She was a drunk, and was never home. And when she was home, she’d just argue with my dad. At least, that’s what I remember.