Comatose

Comatose Part 2

Elaris prided herself in her ability to reason things out. She was the main strategist for the Rangers, and the main problem-solver of the group. When it came down to it, she could probably find an answer to almost every problem, and there was very little that remained unsolvable.

Walking into her apartment to find her boss wearing a bright pink apron while eating Cheetos and screaming at the reality TV show on the tiny television in the kitchen while simultaneously making some kind of seafood dish was one of those unsolvable ones.

Elaris kicked the door shut behind her as she dropped her knapsack onto the breakfast bar near the door. "Captain?" she asked, an eyebrow starting to creep up her forehead.

The giant green-spandex-covered man whirled around, a hand pushed up against his mouth. "Uhlares," Qwark said around a mouth chocked full of food, trying to look as professional as possible in his red-hearted kitchen apron.

Back when the Rangers were deciding living arrangements, the small group all agreed that they would like to live off the military base and in a nearby, human-populated city. The problem was, the government was extremely worried about both Qwark and Elaris, one being the technological genius who armed the entire Solonian Rangers, and the other being the one who led them.

Elaris and Qwark had to stick together in order to protect one another if any villain came to kidnap them and hold them for ransom or torture one of them for powerful weaponry and armor. The government had only allowed the two of them to move off the base, if they promised to live with each other and carry at least three weapons and a tracking bracelet with them whenever they went outside.

Even if Elaris and Qwark weren't required to live together, it probably would have turned out that way. While it could have been girls with girls and boys with boys, Brax and Qwark together unleashed their more... destructive sides. Putting Cora with Qwark wasn't a good idea either, as Cora could only take so much of the captain's antics before becoming... aggressive. Ratchet and Clank were already rooming with each other, and it would be unfair for them to house Qwark while Elaris got a whole apartment to herself.

Elaris had the most amount of patience, was able to better balance out Qwark's reckless streak, and would be able to better protect him if any criminals tried to take a shot at the two Rangers.

Elaris really didn't mind. It was the logical solution to the problem, and everything worked out for the better in the end.

Although the weird stuff she caught her boss doing on a regular basis did throw her off a little.

Elaris laughed as she double-tapped the tracking bracelet to turn it off and unhooked it from her wrist. "Captain, what on Earth are you doing now? When I left, you were binge-watching 'Say Yes to the Dress' and yelling at the TV mom while trying to work on your speech for the President."

Qwark swallowed his food and wiped at his eye as he sniffled. "Phyllis was controlling her. I don't know how Daisy stood for it." The captain sniffed again as a sob-like sound escaped his throat. "And on the greatest occasion of her life..."

Elaris swiftly crouched down and yanked the switch knife hidden in her combat boot out from its place. She sprung back up and delicately tossed the covered knife onto the cover of her knapsack. She nodded to the seafood and the television as she reached for the small pistol in the holster on her belt.

Qwark looked at the mess before giving out an "Oh, right." He rolled up the top of the Cheetos bag and rubbed his powdery fingers on his apron, before chucking the bag onto the far end of the breakfast bar.

He gestured to the little TV and stepped out of the way so Elaris could see the show. All the girl could see was two women apparently arguing with each other over performing intercourse with the same man.