Red Velvet Reality

Shopping With A Bodyguard

Within almost no time at all, Devin had found me. He walked out from behind a rack holding a gray laced bra.

"This would look nice on you," he laughed.

"How did you get here so quickly? It took me over an hour to walk here!" I questioned the bra-weilding embarrasment.

"I'm magic, remember?" he replied as if I were a ignorant child.

"Screw you and your magic. Are you going to help me, or not?"

"Yeah, okay."

I took a look at the bra he was still holding.

"H-how the actual fuck do you know my size?"

"I'm supposed to know everything about you," he laughed, "So of course I know what size clothing you wear."

'OfcourseIknowwhatsizeclothingyouwear!'Iwonderwhatelseheknows.

"Okaaayyyyyy...?"

"I'll take care of the normal clothes and you finish up here," he suggested.

"Alright....."

"Something wrong?"

"No? Why would there be?"

"No reason."

And with that, he set off. My phone buzzed again.

Devin: Ileftwithoutaskingforthelist. Whatareyoushoppingfor?

Me: Everything. Iwanttolookcool. Getmesomestylishclothes. Ineedanentirelynewwardrobe.

Me: AfterI'mdoneinthissection, I'mgoinginforahaircut. It'sbeenwayyyyyyyytoolong.

Devin: OK. I'llmeetyouthereafterI'vegotyourwardrobepickedout.

Devin: Loveyou! Seeyathen! Bye!

Me: Okayyyyyyyyy....?

Devin: Ohno.

Devin: Ignorethat.

Devin: Idon'tknowwhyIsaidthat.

Devin: JustpretendIdidn'tsaythat.

Devin: Areyouthere? I'mgonnacomeandlookforyou.

Me: Don'tbother. I'mfine. I'mstillhereshopping. Jeez. Don'tworrysomuch.

I found it weird that anyone would say that to me. It was an obvious mistake. Plus, he confirmed the mistake. I shook it off and continued bra browsing. I had been looking around for at least 45 minutes when I got way too bored. I had no idea what to look for so I just tossed a few of variety into the cart and turned around to see the one that Devin suggested before he left. After a minute of thought, I tossed in that one too. I located and  headed for the hair salon.

I set the shopping cart aside and walked into the brightly atmospheric salon. At the front counter awaited a miss to take my request.

"Have you made an appointment?"

"Yes."

"Have a seat right over here," she gestured to a black stylist chair, "and a stylist will be with you shortly."

I followed and took a seat. Within a few seconds, and beautiful young stylist  appeared behind me and draped the thin poncho over me.

"What would you like me to do with your hair today, miss?"

"I would like the most recent stlye that would look nice on me."

"Would you like  to have it short, or keep it long?"

"Long, please."

"Alright. Right this way, please." she helped me out of the chair and gestured over at the sinks.

She washed my hair thoroughly and I made my way back to the stylist's chair. She worked silently but surely. I watched as chucks of my hair fell in front of me and onto the ground. Devin showed up with a cart full of clothing.

"I've already purchased these, would you like me to run these through the scanners, too?" he pointed to the cart containing the lingerie.

"Uhhhh...." I was unsure it I trusted him with them, but I finally decided that it would be more efficient, "Sure. Thanks."

"I'll put this stuff in the car afterwards, kay?"

Acar. Wow. That's howhegotheresofast.

"Alright."

Whyishebeingsonicetome?

'Icareaboutyou, okay.'

WhyamIthinkingaboutthis? OHHELLLLLLNAW. THISAINTHAPPENING. Idon't.... do I? Shit. No, notyet, atleast.