It was already 10:00 in the evening but the night is just actually getting started, I took a deep breath as I do my vocalization for the 1st set for tonight's gig.
Just like always, my heart has always been pounding everytime I am invited to sing though just infront of a small crowd, mostly drunk men.
I've been away for 4yrs now from my family, with a dedicated heart I flew all the way here in South Korea as a factory worker. All of my intentions are related to seeing EXO up close, all of my delusions that someday my bias will get to know me. Well that was the unrealistic version of who I was before, young, naive and definitely too much positive about life. It worked for my friends though whom I flew here with, they are living in Seoul now, Ena & Karen, but unfortunately fate isn't as generous to me.
"Mary, the band is setting up already"
It was Mr. Han, he owns this small pub here in Gyeonggi Province. If you are a die hard exol like me, you'd know that this is the place where the great Do Kyungsoo grew up, that is the reason why I ended up doing part time gig here. I thought that once I get here, Id be able to meet Kyungsoo or his family or his relatives. I should punch my old self.
I fix my hair for one last time and started to walk going to the stage, as usual, the lights are dimmed and only a small yellowish spotlight can be seen. From where I sit, I cannot really decipher how the audience looks like since it is pretty dark. Thank goodness for that because knowing that they might look at me judgingly scares me a damn lot.
"Annyeong hashimnika, choneun mary-ssi imnida, please enjoy the songs we prepared for you"
The drummer started counting, hanal deul set.
I started singing an acoustic version of Blackpink's 'As If Its Your Last', as usual, I am enjoying singing, it makes me feel that I am still the person who came from the Philippines. Through music, I can clearly remember how I was before all the chaos in my life started hitting me.
The night continued and time flies so fast for I was already at the 3rd set, meaning I am down to my last 10songs.
I saw that more and more people are coming in, too bad I am about to leave the stage soon.
I took a sip from my water bottle to ease my dry throat. I then signaled the band that we can continue playing for these random koreans inside the bar.
"We are down to our last set, again I am maryssi I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the evening"
I was singing an english song entitled as "Cold Water" again in an acoustic version, as I look at the audience's faces one by one. Moments like this dont always come and I choose to live every piece of it. Singing infront of people who are divided by feelings, some drinks because of their happiness and some do out of sorrow and tears. I'm glad to be part of it.
My eyes smiled when Mr Han waved at me, he's been sending signals that I once again did a great job.
I ended the gig with the song "She's Dreaming" by EXO. It was the perfect lullaby.
I bowed as I finished singing. The night for me is over.
I headed to where Mr. Han is seated, this time. I get a closer look to the 4 other males seating beside him.
"I better go now, Kamsahamnida Mr. Han"
I pause, my world paused.
Drinking beside Mr Han was Chanyeol, Minseok, Junmyeon and Do Kyungsoo on their casual clothes as if they are normal human being just like me.
KYUNG FREAKING SOO
"You did good again Mary, when will you agree to work on full time here? You must think about the offer"
I cannot speak korean at the moment
what the hell.
"She is not a regular singer here?" It was Minseok who looked so shocked, his eyes met mine.
I immediately look elsewhere, I cannot handle the beauty.
"Ani, she just do it every Tuesday and Friday" Everyone seems to listen to Mr Han well.
"Ah Uncle you should take care of her more" It was Junmyeon. He looked at me and smiled.
UNCLE?????
Mr. Han is his uncle??? WHAT THE ACTUAL SORCERY IS HAPPENING
"Ara, ara, I am going to force her more, right Mary?"
I just smiled and thankfully managed to nod.
"You know our song, She's Dreaming you sang a good version of it, too bad Chen is not here" Chanyeol was talking to me.
"Ah yeh, the song is so sincere it felt good singing it" They didnt introduce themselves, well they don't have to, I'm an exol afterall.
All the years of hardwork and tears is infront of my eyes. This has been the moment I was praying for.
If I am dreaming right now, please Almighty let me sleep forever.
I hope they don't notice how I keep on glancing at Kyungsoo who's been silent the whole time, he is busy marking something on some papers. Maybe it was for a film or something. Kyungsooya, looking at me wouldnt hurt.
The time felt like an eternity just standing infront of these fine young men.
Should I stop pretending to be calm and ask if I can take a picture with them?
"These songs fit your voice" Kyungsoo handed me a small piece of paper with atleast 5 songs written on it. Everyone look as if they are not also expecting what Kyungsoo did.
I guess I was too obvious that I am shocked that he let out a slight chuckle as he looked at me more probably waiting for an answer.
"Ah ne, kamsahamnida, I'll sing these the next time, I hope you'll get to hear it"
Well that was so desperate.
And nice.
Opportunity should be held tight.
"I'll sure do" He smiled again reassuringly.
And just like that, it was time for me to exit. I cannot stay infront of these idols looking like Im trying to invade their privacy.
I'll just look at them from the other side of the bar.
Nice thinking Mary.
"I'll get going then, you guys enjoy" I bowed as they did the same.
For the past years, Ena has been mentioning something about Nirvana.
This gotta to be my Nirvana.
