Homophobic | pjm + jjk

Lonely

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Jimin's p.o.v

The feeling of the empty bed haunts me as I lay here, wishing my love was here by my side.

Staying at Namjoon-Hyung's house is strange. He's nice, but we didn't talk much at school, he just knew I was looking for a place to live, and offered it to me. I'm not complaining; At least I'm not alone, but I feel so lonely. I know there are people who love me, but I don't feel loved. Come to think of it; I don't know if anyone even loves me anymore..

My brain, that thing, it never leaves me alone. I couldn't be alone if I wanted to be.

The room seems so much colder, so much emptier. The only time I don't feel lonely is when I'm asleep, because in my dreams, I see my love.. But then, I wake up.

I dread waking up.

So I just stay in bed all day, sleeping. I skip my meals, and yet you're still fat.

I don't walk anymore, so my legs are weak, they're as useless as you.

I haven't gone to school, because what's the point of making a future for myself if I won't even keep myself alive long enough to enjoy it?

Namjoon tries to get me to eat, but I'm stubborn and immature, so I refuse. I'll eat on my terms; which is not at all.

Maybe if I get skinny enough, Jungkook will want me back.

No, stop trying. He'll never love you.

He doesn't love me. He never has, and he never will.

I've tried going to sleep permanently, or, as most people would call it, "kill myself" twelve times, but either Namjoon finds me, or it doesn't work. I've been in the hospital seven times, and to therapy eighteen times in the past two months.

So I just stay in bed.

Just me and Him.

All day.

No will to live, no hope for tomorrow, other than the hope that I don't wake up.

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-Lonely, Not Alone-
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Thanks for reading, kiddo's ~~~ pls comment what you think of the book thus far, and what you want to see as the ending

I wrote the last chapter of this book earlier this week, but I know it would disappoint you guys too much, so I'm gonna re-write the ending to make it better for you all, and make it fit the story line better~

y e e t ok ilygsm please be safe !! 111!!!11!!1!1!