The Essential Bride

The Essential Bride (28)

I sat on the rough pavement, trailing my hands along the asphalt; relishing in how it felt underneath my fingertips. Everything around me felt new, every experience I was living through was as if it was the first time I ever experience it.

This place must mean something to me, this town was somehow relevant to the human-me and I didn't know how. It was like past waking up, it was a gray area, TV static... Lately, there wasn't much I could remember. I remembered I was once human, because everyone around me would talk about it, would talk about me being freshly transitioned, and how well I was taking it. I felt the dwindling past emotions, past fears, glimpses of  what life used to be like- and then I remember waking up.

Waking up for what felt like the first time, seeing the world differently. I inhaled, feeling my lungs expand and contrast but felt no relief, no need to do it. I stared at the texture of the ceiling, and listened to the world around me, all the wildlife living around me ...I knew it was all new to me, but it felt so normal, I couldn't think of it being any different- because I couldn't remember it being different.

I had taken another breath, and I couldn't think why. It felt normal to breathe, but nothing in me was telling  me to. It seemed odd not doing it, but my lungs felt hard, and stiff. It felt normal, but it didn't feel right.

It took me a moment then to realize that the air around me was buzzing, tingling my skin, and I jerked head around to look at who I knew would be there. What told me he would be there? I don't know, there was no voice in my head, there was nothing but the air telling me that Leon was standing beside me.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at me with a small smile on his face. "How do you feel my beautiful love?" He asked, but I didn't answer because something told me he knew how I was feeling. "Thirsty, antsy..."  He riffled off, "I can fix that all."

Months went by with spending time with Leon, and it felt right. Constantly being around him, listening to him teach me felt right, but I didn't know why it felt right. Some nights it would bother me that I couldn't really remember my life before I turned, I would get frustrated with myself being unable to understand why I would remember a face, but not a name, remember a place but not the location. Glimpses of a past life that I lived not too long ago, completely gone from me.

It didn't matter though, and I knew it. While Leon held me and reassured me that the past was the past, and I needed nothing but him in my future I knew he was right. Nothing mattered but him, and I knew he was right.

I couldn't explain what drew me to this place. Over the past few months I continually thought of this place and it took a long time for me to be able to place it all together, piece by piece, dream by dream and then it took even longer to convince Leon that I could comfortably travel to America. I didn't know what was here for me in America, but I knew it was something. Leon wasn't thrilled at the idea of leaving his home, he said we belonged there and that he never spent longer than a month from the manor but I told him it was something I needed to do. It would be the last thing I would have to do to fully accept that I was a vampire now, and that now it was all I remembered me being.

I didn't think he imagined this being the place I would lead him to though. The moment that we landed on American soil, I doubted he thought I would take him to some small town in the middle of no where but here we were. Leon had remained silent for most of it, only making small comments about how we would have to remain in  the shadows, no one could see that we were here, nothing I was used to because normally Leon didn't care who saw  us in passing but I never questioned him once. There hasn't been a time yet that Leon was wrong.

For some reason, this place meant something to me and I couldn't figure out why. It was nearly three am, and I'd been sitting in the road for at least an hour. Not a single car had come by, the world around me was oddly quiet. I didn't pay much attention to that though, because none of that mattered. I knew if anything started coming our way, Leon would be aware of it. Leon always watched out for me, and honestly there was no one I felt more comfortable and safe around. He had explained the meaning of 'mates' to me, and I knew exactly what he was talking about. The feeling in the air, the undeniable bond between us, he told me we had spent months together, we naturally shared a bed, spent all of our time together... and he was right, Leon was never wrong. Being around him felt right.

The dirt and pebbles of the road dug into my hard thighs, and there was a definite chill in the night air, but none of it bothered me. I remembered a time when it may have, but nothing solid came to mind. 

I stared straight ahead, directly beside a telephone pole was an informal shrine. It had a beautiful, white wooden cross and delicately engraved in it was a date. All around it was flowers, some old and shriveled and some bright and thriving and candles that have long been forgotten. I decided not to get too close to it, feeling like I was intruding on something I didn't understand. On top of the cross was a green Jetta hot wheels. None of it meant anything to me, but it all felt so relevant.

"Are you ready My Love?" Leon said, his voice barely above a whisper. He was still standing off in the trees, but the entire time that I sat here I could feel his eyes on me. I couldn't think of a time where Leon wasn't watching for me, guarding me and I smiled. I knew something was wrong though, he didn't like this place and he most certainly did not want to be here but he hadn't said why yet. I didn't think Leon ever would, but we had an agreement. I would let my past go, and move forward with him because he let me come here. This destination didn't help me though, none of this meant anything to me. I couldn't put my finger on why this was important to me.

I pouted, without getting up, or turning my head to look at where his figure would be. It was frustrating, not remembering anything. I felt like my entire existence now would consist of struggling to forget the gray area in my mind. Leon said it was normal, they all suffered from it, it was common when vampires turned. The process was so extensive, painful, and difficult that the brain almost seemed to reset itself. Leon explained that every vampire struggled to remember anything. Margaret remembered the most, but she was also the oldest; ever her memory trailed off after being brought into the woods by a farmer she worked for. 

For months Leon had explained that we had talked about the transition, and what it would mean if I decided to turn for him. He kept reassuring me that this was a decision that I had decided, knowing that I wouldn't remember anything, for him. I believed him, because every time I looked at him I couldn't think of being anywhere else but beside him. Something in me told me Leon was the only thing the mattered.

I heard Leon approach me, and made no attempt to move. He rested a hand on my shoulder, "are you ready My Love?" Leon said again, not anymore forceful than before. He was always so patient and kind with me. I nodded without really thinking about it. If nothing had come to me yet, it probably wouldn't. Everyone in the manor had explained that it takes decades upon decades to fully remember things, they were impressed I even remembered a location that meant anything to me. "We have a lot to get home to, I'm sure Margaret is already halfway done planning our own wedding." I didn't have to look at Leon to know he was smiling. Any time he talked about our wedding, his happiness was clear as day and it made my heart swell. Knowing he was that excited to be properly bonded to me was amazing to see.

"Yes." I said calmly, slowly rising to my feet. 

"I'm sorry this trip didn't answer questions for you Demetria, if I could help you piece it together I would." He said, grasping my hand in his and I nodded. I didn't feel sad, I felt indifferent to it. Leon was right, I didn't need to think about my past, knowing my future  was much more important. I knew Leon knew nothing about my past, and it was something I had to accept. "You ready to go home and plan our eternity?" He asked with a silly smile on his face, one I couldn't help but match. 

"Of course my love." I insisted, squeezing his hand, letting him lead me to the tree line.

***

The End.


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