The Essential Bride

The Essential Bride (26)

'I agreed to this,' I kept telling myself as I laid down in bed with Leon. 'I agreed to let this happen' I reminded myself as I felt him snake his arms around me. "I can sense that your scared Demetria, you don't have to do this." He said, but I didn't say anything. "Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes Leon, please show me." I begged, trying to loosen up. This had to be one of the first times Leon's was touching me and I couldn't get comfortable. I was too scared.

The way Leon held me with tender hands, soft but controlling, I could tell he was scared too. I'd never seen Leon nervous of anything and it made my stomach hurt. Whatever Leon had to show me, nothing good was going to be presented to me.

"Close your eyes, and just try to keep your mind blank. I'm going to try to show you just glimpses of that night. You need to see it from my point of view, you need to know how I felt in that moment. It will help." He insisted, "just relax, keep still and I promise it wont hurt." I felt Leon put his head on my shoulder, resting the top of it on my own. I listened to him, and closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

At first, I felt like I was drifting off to sleep. I was tired, and nervous and unsure what to expect and then suddenly it was like I was dreaming. It was like that day while we were traveling and he gave me pleasant dreams to attempt to soothe me. I was aware of myself, but unable to have control over myself.

Suddenly, I was at Lilly Marden's Halloween Party. It felt like it happened forever ago, to a totally different person when in reality it was only almost a year ago now. There were swarms of kids everywhere, all holding drinks and bumping in to one another, kids I used to attend high school with, kids I should have graduated with. I walked through the crowds of kids, before stopping in front of a few girls crowded around each other. It took a second for me to realize that it was Nicole, Rose and Carly, girls that I had grown up with calling my best friends all crowded around me. I was yelling, asking where Stephanie was, clearly very annoyed at myself  that I had lost track of her.

It was exactly like that night, but I was watching the events unfold from someone else's eyes.

The next thing I knew I was making eye contact with myself, staring in to my hazel eyes with amazement. I felt lucky to have the opportunity to do this, to capture my attention for even a second. I felt nothing but my heart swelling with overwhelming joy, love and passion. All the feelings felt new and overwhelming, and the thought running through my head was 'she's finally noticed me, she's noticed me.'

Leon, it was Leon's eyes I was looking through and it was his emotions I was feeling, honestly part of me wanted to puke. I felt my head bouncing around his own, it was all jarring to want to think your own thoughts but be forced to think and feel someone else's.

In my dreamlike state, looking through Leon's eyes, I watched myself move away from him looking for Stephanie, and heard her yelling. I watched myself react to Stephanie dragging Lilly out of her own room by her hair and threatening to call the cops. I watched myself run off with Stephanie.

Then I saw glimpses of a hand reaching out and touching the shoulders of a few kids, the kids who saw me, no. Who saw Leon- and then running off into the night. Leon didn't want to lose track of me, he wanted to make sure I got to Stephanie's house safely. He knew where all these places were, he'd been watching me prior, cold realization washed over me. Leon had told me these things, but it hadn't processed yet.

There was a horrible sound off in the distance, the sound of metal scrapping and crumbling in to itself, my heart dropped. I felt Leon's feelings, his heart caved in to itself and he came to an abrupt stop for a second. He scanned the woods around him, trying to pinpoint what could have happened.