February 2017
"Whaaaaaaat !!!!? You did that to him ?!!! ", my friend Sammy said, after i told her what happened to Justin and i that day. It's been 3 years from now since i left him.
I didn't move on that easily and actually I haven't moved on till now.
Leaving him was never easy for me but like i said that day, it's for the best. After i left him that day, i flew to Sydney to forget about my past but still it haunts me every time.
There are many good things and people happened to me here in sydney. My life here in Sydney is never been better, i got a job, i met some people. I met Sammy a few months when i moved here then we became friends more like sisters.
"So you meaning to say that, you lied to him, you didn't tell him how much you wanna hug and kiss him, you didn't tell him that you still love him ?!!!", she said while freaking out.
"Yes." i answered honestly.
"Ughhhhh ! But whyyyyyy ????", she asked.
"Because i have to".
"You have to but you didn't want to ? Hmmmmm" she asked me teasingly.
"No !, it's because i have to and i want to".
"Okaaay, whatever helps you sleep at night".
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I thought about what Sammy had said to me, did i really wanted to leave him ?
That day i already made up my mind, but I don't know what change my mind.
Was it because he said he loves me ? no of course not, he always said that to a lot of girls he hooked up with. Was it my fault that we had gone too far that i had to give up my love for him. Did i really gave up on him ?
I didn't realise the tears streaming down my face as i thought about justin again, the times that im still pursuing my love for him, the times that i wanna give up on him but i know that i can't because i know that deep inside, i have a place in his heart.
But now.... Now what. ?
