'Dear Cas,
I called for you, did you hear it all the way up in heaven?
I sang our song, do you remember the name? Do you remember how I sang it every time we were at the beach? Do you remember - do you remember me?
If not, that's probably for the best.
Then you don't have to feel bad, feel bad for leaving, feel bad for not being here when I got home.
I got the call from the hospital that day.
I'm sorry I couldn't come home. I'm sorry - I'm so sorry Cas.
I'm sorry I couldn't be there when it was your time to leave, I'm sorry I wasn't there when you got sick, I'm sorry I wasn't there when the doctors turned off the machines. I'm sorry I wasn't there.
You taught me so much Cas, you thought me that I could be myself and that no matter what you had my back, always.
You told me when I was being an idiot.
We would take long walks at the beach and talk about us and our future.
Whenever I hear Elvis, I start to cry. I showed you a song and you claimed that was our song, "Can't help falling in love".
I loved you, and still fucking love you with all my heart. The feeling of loving you, being loved by you, will never go away. The memories will never go away. I don't think I will ever have a 'happy' relationship again, I don't think I'll ever be in a new relationship. The thought of it makes me feel bad, it makes my stomach feel like a heavy rock. Because loving someone else, saying "I love you" to someone who isn't you, is a lie. It's a hell of a big lie.
Remember how long that took me to tell you that - that I love you?
I remember the day I did. I remember.
I remember. I hope you do too. I hope - I hope you remember me, I hope you remember - us.
You'll see me soon Cas, I promise.
See you then, see you soon Baby.
I love you
yours,
Dean'
"I love you baby" Dean smiled as went to the bed. He had Cas' hoodie on. He laid down and cried "I'm coming Cas - I'm coming right no-" the sound of a gun echoed inside the house. Everything went black. Everything got dark. Everything got - quiet.
