New paths

Life

So where do I start. Boyfriends, bandmates, and rumours. Living life in the limelight is so difficult to deal with. I live every day with a news reporter asking questions or a group of men with camera following me to the shops. It's so annoying. I'm a normal girl from South Shields, I don't see why they need pictures of me just popping to the shops. Being a singer is my job, so when I'm working, doing shows, interviews etc I don't mind paps taking photos. But when I'm visiting home or with my family, I hate it. Think about it, it's so abnormal. I am a normal girl, with a job that unfortunately includes am abnormal lifestyle. I was very young when I entered this industry so I guess I'm used to it, but it was tough from the beginning. Plus, being in a group is so hard, you're constantly getting compared and judged against each other, it's too much pressure. I love my job and I love my fans. But sometimes I struggle a lot. One of the hardest things involved are relationships. I feel like I can't have one anymore. I never know whether they truly like me as a person, or want money or fame. It's hard for me, especially as I get attached super easy. I think I'm in love after such a short time. Truth is I don't get over things easily either. It's hard to believe that I was once engaged, being asked about wedding dresses etc. And then it disappeared. It actually breaks my heart still. I'm over Zayn obviously,but I miss the whole feeling of being engaged and thinking of a magical wedding. Luckily I now have Alex. I am happier than I have ever been with him. He makes my world light up, literally. I have no doubt that this time he is the one. The one I will spend my whole life with. Someone who I WILL marry and someone who will never disrespect me. I love spending my time with him but I'm going to LA tomorrow with the girls. I am excited but leaving Al is the worst thing.