New paths

Staying goodbye for a while.

I can never sleep when leaving Alex. 4 hours sleep and I have such a long flight ahead. But I'm leaving I'm half an hour and meeting the girls at Heathrow. So I make sure I have everything and start to say goodbye. I'm going to America for three whole months. With tears rolling down my face, I give Alex a hug and kiss. I will miss him but I know he'll be here when I'm back which is great. My car arrives and i can't stop waving out of the window.

*arrives at airport*

*meets girls*

*flight finished*

Sunny sunny sunny LA. My favourite place to visit. But I can't really appreciate the views right now because I'm unbelievably jet lagged. But we have a red carpet event to attend tonight. So time to get to the hotel and have a power nap.

*after nap, makeup and outfits*

So we arrive at this massive venue, where everything seems to be gold. I can't help but think I'm way too common for these places. There are stars everywhere. Actors, singers, Tv stars. I always get so star struck. I am like a little girl In a candy shop. After the red carpet, where we have to stand for about ten minutes while 50+ photographers scream at us while flashing their cameras. I can barely see after that part. But that's when the fun begins. I walk into this massive hall, where all I can see is an extremely long table, the size of the room, full of food. I wish I could be completely common and stuff my face, but my classy side has to show in these places. After food, we walk through all the tables, and everywhere I look I am star struck. Ed Sheeran on one table, on the next Ellen and then the next The Kardashian family. We smiled and we waved at the kardashian table and Khloe even took a selfie with us. Once again, I was star struck. But as I smiled at everyone on their table I noticed three seats missing. But the only kardashian I could think of that's as missing from the table was Kendall. So who could the two other missing seats be? Then from behind me, a beautiful elegant American voice says, " the girls who rule the UK, little mix. It's so nice to see you guys here" while tapping me on the shoulder. Kendall Jenner. She was beautiful. I was almost mesmerised by her. But I couldn't help but notice the two people who walked in with her. Zayn and Gigi. They didn't say a word, just sat in their seats. All I heard was a female, who I was certain was Gigi saying "Shout out to my ex, huh" and some short and quiet giggling. I really had to control my anger and my tears. Jesy then ended the Kendall conversation quickly and grabbed my hand and left.

At this point I didn't know what to think. This was the first time seeing him since we broke up. It brought back something into my mind. I don't know what or why but something happened. Do I still love him? No of course no, I have Alex. But do I? I don't even know. I sat at the table, completely silent, still confused after what just at happened.

Jesy: "Pez are you okay?"

I couldn't keep it in. As soon as she asked if I am okay, a tear rolled down my cheek.

Leigh-anne:  "Perrie they were doing it to get a reaction. Don't give me it to them please. You're better than them. Here, have a drink!"

I giggled and they giggled with me as I grab the drink. It was gone in about ten seconds.