CreepyPasta

A Lack of Empathy

I wasn’t like other children growing up. I didn’t like talking to those smelly things in Kindergarten and I never participated in their silly games. But I had my own games to play and oh! What fun games they were! For example, a little girl once asked to borrow my crayons. I told her she could have them if she would tell our teacher to “fuck off”. She got sent home for that. I remember hearing her mother scream about the beating she would get later. Fun games, right?

It didn’t take long for the teachers to notice that the other children avoided me and how I never seemed to show emotion of any kind. They didn’t think I heard them whispering about me but I did. I have exceptionally good hearing. “Little monster” said Mrs. Guthrie. “Sociopath” whispered Mr. DePascal. Even at my young age, I had an extensive vocabulary. I had never heard of the word sociopath before and I was intrigued. When I got home that night I looked it up in my mother’s encyclopedia. Sociopath; a personality disorder characterized by a lack of empathy for others. I would have to agree with you, Mr. DePascal.

Elementary and middle school passed by quickly. I learned to fake emotions and excitement in order to fool my teachers and parents. I couldn’t fool my peers, though. No matter how convincing my act, they always seemed to instinctively know that I was different and they gave me a wide berth. Every once in a while one of them would try to make friends with me and that’s when I could really have some fun! But despite how I treated those around me, I didn’t hate any of them. It wasn’t until high school that someone finally managed to piss me off. That someone was Travis Murphy.

The Murphy family moved into my neighborhood before the start of tenth grade. They had two children, a son, Travis and his sister, Marion. I was looking forward to the inevitable time when my parents invited them over. Neither Travis nor Marion had ever met me and so they had no way of knowing of my sociopathic tendencies. They would amuse me quite a bit. But this time it would be I who was blindsided. Marion started out easily enough, displaying the normal interest and kindness by those who don’t yet know me. After some time, however, I realized that she thought I was handsome and was even starting to develop a crush on me. No girl had ever done this before and it was an entirely new experience for me. Fascinated, I decided to spare Marion from my games for a while longer and keep her around. So I continued to fake smiles and feign interest in what she had to say. Travis was an entirely different story. He seemed to have as little interest in me as I had in anyone else. I couldn’t play my games with him. He was completely uncaring. It angered me for the first time in my life. Over the years I had come to realize that I was special, far more important than these insects surrounding me. Why else would they be drawn to me, even as they know how alien I am to them? For one of these insects to dare ignore me…! For the first time in my life, I made the first move. I tried making small talk with Travis, I feigned emotion and interest in his life and did everything I could to make him interested in me. Nothing.

I was furious at first over his lack of interest but over the years I came to realize that he was like me; a sociopath. Completely devoid of caring for others. Instead of alleviating my frustration, this only increased it. I was special, unique! But now there was another one like me. If I wasn’t unique, could I still be special? Or was I ordinary? Just another insect? No! I refused to be ordinary. One may as well be dead. And so that’s what I endeavored to do from that day forth. I would make Travis ordinary. I would kill him.

Fueled by passion as I was, I waited. High school passed and college started. Trifles. I learned new ways to express myself through sex with Marion. I learned the value of pain and how to make her beg for it. It was all very fascinating at first but, like everything else, it eventually lost it’s intrigue. My focus shifted away from Marion and back to Travis. I was fully ready to kill him, but cautious. I wasn’t naive enough to think the insects would let me get away with it if they knew I murdered him and I wanted to avoid prison at all costs. I fear nothing except boredom and that is what prison is. Endless boredom. I couldn’t act impulsively. I had to be calculating and crafty. As long as I was taking my time, I figured I may as well have some fun!