When you told me you were going to leave, I never believed you. But I should have.
You were there, my first love, nothing can change that. But the day you told me that if my
doubts, my emotions, and my insecurities got in the way of my happiness you would leave, I
am going to be honest I didn't believe you. But I really, really should have because I loved
you more than my heart allowed and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to get past everything that
has happened and I am sorry that I was a hostage to my own mind, and I am so, so sorry
that every time you said that I was amazing, or perfect, or that you loved me I said “Ya right”
because I had never been told that before and I didn't know how to react to that but I guess
neither did you. You didn't know how to handle me, or how to handle the issues that were
my life. I grew up. And I became something amazing, just like you said I was, but you aren't
here to see it because you left. You left me crying in my room at the image of what we were
and what we could have been. You left me alone with my mind at my most destructive time
and I don't think I will ever forgive you...but I will love you, forever and always.
