random thoughts

early morning self promotions

+ i love me regardless🌼
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if you guys are not already reading my new rant book – because some dusty musty got the old one deleted – then what are you living for?

what are you blinking for?

(and to be more dramatic) what are you breathing for?

just why. ⚠️✨

I mean, that book. . . *cue pause*

that book is about me and what I go through everyday as a very intellectual black woman that strives for... 🤧

siKe jUST KIDDING AND MovING ON

the rant book is about all the people that I have to drag.

I see you look a little confused. 🔍

let me explain.
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[Reasons Why I Drag Hoes 101] ✨

thank you for coming to class today, everyone sit down.

I sAID SIT DOWN.

thank you. 🤗

*awkwardly clears throat* ah, right, as I was saying... thank you all for coming to class today – considering you haven't showed up for the past month!

anyways, today I will be informing you of the reasons why I, yours truly, drag hoes. 

*pulls out the old timey projector*

number one! 👉🏽 they don't know how to shut up. now kids, I wouldn't have to drag anyone if they would mIND THEIR BUSINESS.

number two! 👉🏽 they always smart off at me and think I won't say anything back. if you think I won't respond to your shenanigans, then you have lost your ever-loving mind.

next!

number three! 👉🏽 they try and correct me – and not in a nice way. kids, listen. i'm all about being nice to one another and helping each other out, but not when you try and make me sound dumb. I will knock you out with this projector. do I make myself clear?

*laughs nervously* kidding, kids, kidding! please don't tell the principal...

number four! 👉🏽 they judge me for every little thing. i'm sorry, I didn't know I was a pastor. you don't have to judge me for every little thing, because I will go out into the parking lot, turn my car on, and then run it into this building.

HA! gotcha, again! wow, I really need to get this under control...

and lastly, number five! 👉🏽 just because it's fun. this one doesn't even need an explanation and if you ask for one, then you're stupid.

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like, come on now.

I wAS WAITING ON YALL AT THE DOOR 💁🏻‍♂️ *if y'all don't know that reference, i'm sorry because I don't know it either*
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who doesn't like to read about spilling tea?

that's always a fun time. 🐸☕️
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plus, i'm like the 👑 of GIFs.

so that makes my rants even more appealing. *enter wink here*

🙃 get it? appealing?

because of a banana?

because the pealing... 🍌

yoU KNOW WHAT JUST FORGET IT 🤧
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mOrAl of the story: read my book, bro. my rant book to be exact.

it has this lovely personality from yours truly. 😉 who wouldn't want to read about that?
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[ask IreneCallista07 she knows.]
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I literally have no idea what I was doing during that teacher skit thing. 😂😂 this is what I do and come up with at 3:57 in the morning because I have nothing else better to do with my lyfe.

but honestly. go and read my new rant book! it will make me so happy. I was at 2K at my old one before it so rudely got taken down.

I hate wattpad.

go and add it to your library and support your favorite author. 😉

^^ notice how that was a wink, you don't have to attack me with ...

"OMG you're not my fav author! ew!"

cuz den we gone fight 👨🏾

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*pretend there's another GIF here* no fast data is k i l l i n g me!! 🤧