HIS DEEP DARK SECERT

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(CHARLES POV)

(I recommend you listening to secert love song by little mix it goes with the chapter)

I woke up this mornig feeling like crap well i was crying for an hour last night anyway i get up take a shower i put on some pj's on because it's saturday and I'm not doing anything today so yea.

So I guess you wanna know why I was crying last night.I was thinking about joey and I. wondering what would it would be like if we were a thing. Like if we went on dates had sleep overs netflix and chill ya know the basic stuff.

But then I realized,joey and I will never be a thing because he's not gay or bisexual and he's homphobic and I just pretend I am.but secretly I'm gay i just get a girlfriend sometimes so he won't get any ideas. It hurts to know the one you love the most,care about,and wanna be with,will never love you,never care about you as much as you do,and doesn't want to be with you.

Why can't I hold him in the street. 

Why can't I say that I'm in love?

I wish that it could be like.

Why can't be like that?

As I was listening to the song the more I started to cry and I never cried like that in my life.Why do I have to be this way?Why do i have to like my best friend?Why can't i just like girls? why am I this way?Why does joey have to be homophobic? Why can't joey like guys?

Theres got to be a reason he's this way.He can't just hate gays.There's a reason why He's this way every time someone mentions a gay guy with someone he's always like "ewww gay people are gross"but e also looks sad? but I'm not to sure

But there's one thing I'm sure about.Joey Matthew Birlem will be mine one day

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