Imagine Clay stopping you from
committing suicide.
I am deeply sorry for the wait, here you go Maybe200
I remember it like it was just yesterday. All the police cars surrounding Hannah's house, the ambulance pulling her on a stretcher. Everyone in the neighborhood watching idly as the scene in front of them unfolds.
I can't help but think this was my fault. Hannah was my best friend and I should have been there for her. But now she's gone and she's never coming back.
Everyday I walk into the school and pass her locker. I don't understand why the school makes a big deal about suicide now but it never occurred to them before. What makes this worse is that they made a shrine in the hall for her. None of these people even knew her like I did and somehow consider themselves her friends.
Hannah was the only one who understood me for me and not what everyone else thought. I tried to talk to Clay but he just pushed me away. Literally.
Is it possible to feel so alone even though your in a room full of people? When I walk in the hall, everyone gives me sympathetic looks and asks if I'm "okay". What the hell kind of question is that?
My parents went out of town for business and won't be home for a few weeks. The sad thing is, before Hannah died, she never left me a note or anything saying why she did what she did.
I contemplate my life as I sit here, on the cliff, looking down. "Suicide is for the weak", they said. Well do you see me being strong here? I miss my best friend and I want her back and the only way to do that is if I follow in her footsteps.
I was broken from my thoughts as I heard a car engine in the distance. Then it stops as I see the exact same car is stopped behind me. And guess who was in the passenger seat? Go on, take a guess..
"Hayleigh, don't do this..", Clay fucking Jensen.
I scoff, "Well if it isn't Clay fucking Jensen. Come to stop me from jumping huh?"
"Please Hayleigh don't do this, now take my hand and we'll get out of here.", He holds out his hand and steps closer to me.
I look at his hand and turn away, "And why would I go back with you? Didn't seem like you cared about me from the looks of our last chat."
"I know what your thinking and this is not the right answer! Killing yourself isn't going to help anyone!"
"Who said anything about helping?! Clay, Hannah was my best friend! She was the only one who was truly my friend!!", I stood up with tears in my eyes.
"She was my friend too! I already lost her, I don't wanna lose you too!", He continued to walk closer.
"Since when do you care about me Clay?! You shut me out when I needed you the most! You literally pushed me down in front of the entire school!"
"I know and I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry! I was mad at myself and I took it out on you! That was a mistake and I want to fix things with you!", you could see his tears in the moonlight.
I slowed my breathing down and looked at the bottom of the cliff, would Hannah have wanted this? Would she have wanted me to jump?
I finally look up at Clay and burst into tears. He comes over to me and pulls me away from the ledge and into his arms. I grip onto his hoodie and choke out my sobs.
"Can you do me a favor?", He asked looking down at me.
I looked at him, wiped my face, and nodded.
He gave me a small smile and took out his head phones. He passed them to me and set them on my head. I pressed play.
Hey, it's Hannah.
I want this tape to be special.
Well, as special as a dead girl can get.
This tape is for my best friend.
The one who stood by me in my darkest times.
The one who gave me the comfort I needed when I was upset.
The one I knew I could feel safe with...
Hayleigh,
If your listening, I want you to know this is no way your fault.
You did everything you possibly could, but in the end, it was I who chose this path.
I'm sorry it had to end this way.
I want you to promise me something.
Promise me that you'll move on, but never forget me.
That you'll continue to make friends and make everyone happy around you!
I love you with all my heart and I won't stop loving you, even from wherever I end up.
I love you, Hayleigh.
This is Hannah Baker,
Signing off..
Tears were streaming down my face as the audio stopped.
I love you too, Hannah Baker...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There you have it, my first request in a while. Again I'm so deeply sorry for not updating.
I've just been in a state of guilt, due to a close friend of mine passing away. I'm still coping with her death but I promise I will continue writing because it makes me happy.
Also, I want to remind you all that I appreciate every one of you for voting and commenting. I love you all to death.
Till next time, my darlings,
Much love, Lily♥
