Five Stages of Exit

Chapter 1

The moment I saw him, I already had it all planned out. We'll have a garden wedding and my daddy will give me away. I'll wear a nice white dress and my mommy will cry when she sees me walking down the center. We'll go dancing while the sprinklers are on and we'll walk hand in hand towards the sunset and he will kiss me on the lips before he says "You have the best lemonade in town my darlin'!" and we'll live happily ever after.

"Twas fine" he had said, jolting me out of my reverie. He shrugged his shoulders after he drank the lemonade he bought from me and handed me ten cents. He started to ride his bike again and rode away with his friends. I followed him with my eyes as the wind threw his hair up. That was one summer afternoon, inside my lemonade stand. He said it was fine. My lemonades are fiiiiiine. I thought. And right then and there, I knew I wanted to make lemonades for him for the rest of my life. He's Russel, the boy who lives across our house whom I sometimes see in the Church on Sundays. I met him when once when we got invited for dinner at their house, but he never played with me. The sun was nearing the earth and my Lemonade almost gone and Russel thought they were fine.
All in all, it was a good day.

My mommy and I moved out of the house in the evening of that same day. I never saw my future husband since.

The second time I saw him. I was shocked but wasn't as awestruck. I was a senior at my school and was a student helper at our library. My main job there was to put all the books back on the shelves and help around the library. We get paid a small amount for this but it's enough to help me with my school allowance. I get paid to be surrounded by books, not bad at all.

He was with a crowd, touring the campus, I'm not sure what was for. I was at the counter, assisting a borrower when their group entered the library and a man discussed something with them in a hushed voice. I picked him out of the crowd because I thought he looked familiar, he didn't even register at first, but when he furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, there was no mistaking it. Those curly locks and pair of dimples gave it away. Our eyes met for a split second, and if there was any memory remotely stirred by my face, he never showed it.

I tried hard to guess why he was here. That was the tour group for freshmen students and their parents. I know he's older than me so it's unlikely that he was here to enroll. Right? It's improbable that he has a child that wants to enroll here. I had already jumped to a million conclusions by the time they moved on. I never saw him again after that.

That was until the school year started the next month. I saw him in the library after class hours but never around the campus. Sometimes he reads a book, other times, just sits there and abuses the free wi-fi. One day, my curiosity got the best of me. I was pushing the cart full of books and started to fix one side of the bookcase. He was distracted momentarily by my arrival but returned his attention to his book. I then sat on the chair opposite him while he's reading. I propped my face with my elbow and he glanced up at me.

"Can I help you?" he raised an eyebrow.

He looks different now, but still the same. He still has his dark brown eyes and curly brown hair. He lost his boyish freckles and boyish charm though. He now looks so sophisticated in his crisply ironed polo his confidence in himself still shining through.

I let him try to recognize me, which was completely impossible by the way, but he was waiting for an answer.

"Actually yes," I sat straight. "I don't think you'd remember me. But if I'm not mistaken, we were neighbors in Lorenzo Village when we were kids" I smiled, worried that he might think I'm a weirdo.

He closed the book he was reading using his finger as a bookmark.

"I don't think you're lying, but I'm sorry, I can't place your face," He said apologetically.

"I'm Jane Samson" I offered a handshake and he shook my hand. "I'm Russell Lewis" I knew that but decided not to be creepy and kept my mouth shut. "The Samsons. I knew your family from way back home. You live right across the street. Your father still lives there..." Then paused, as if remembering that it might be a sensitive topic for me so I but in.

"Yes, my father, that's right. He still lives there with his family, I know."

He smiled looking relieved. "This is so cool! What are the odds of crossing paths with your childhood sweetheart after so many years?"

It was my turn to be embarrassed and I felt my cheeks warm.

"Well, I mean, you know how our parents were going on and on about pairing us up when we grow old. It was so funny now that I think of it" He laughed.

"Yeah, I remember that! Parents, am I right?" I laughed and rolled my eyes. I definitely did not remember that. Maybe that was why he ignored me that one time we ate dinner at his house. "This is crazy. What brought you here if you don't mind me asking?"

"I am actually waiting for somebody." He said and glanced at his watch. "How about you?"

That did not answer my million questions. "I'm a Senior here, and I'm supposed to be working at this library, right now, actually." I shrugged "Anyway, how's my father? Anything exciting happened lately?"

"Can't really tell you. In an outsider's eyes, everything's fine in that house. If it's not too personal, do you still see each other? "

"Well, the thing is.."

"Sorry, hang on" he cut me. He answered his apparently vibrating cellphone and I pretend to examine the ceiling of the library. I glanced at the book he was reading and it was entitled "Norman Dearest". I made a mental note to research what it is about and as if on cue, he ended the call.

"Listen, I'd love to answer questions but I gotta run."

"Oh, it's fine. Of course! I also need to get back to work, so..." I nodded and stood.

"But, I'd be happy to catch up some other day. Okay? You'll be here?"

"Right here." I smiled.

He then stood and went to the librarian's desk to borrow the book he was reading. I Grabbed the cart I was pushing and went on to the other side of the bookcase to continue doing my work. I peeked on top of the books and watched him a little bit more. He's drumming his fingers on top of the desk as the librarian takes care of the borrowing process.

Please look back..please look back... I repeated the mantra inside my head. The librarian gave him his book and his ID and he went out of the building, not even a glance back.