Chapter 4

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Chapter 4

Flicking through the several sheets that were in my clutch, I let out a breath of annoyance. Within the pile, there was not one sheet that captured my interest. Not one single job description that so much as caught my eye.

"There's always online if you can't find anything to to your taste." The young girl suggested. I set the papers down on the side and folded my arms. The girl shuffled a few steps back, sensing my frustrated temper. "I mean, there could be something."

"Thanks," I calmed, rubbing my forehead and shooting an apologetic glance to the girl. The girl flashed a small smile and hurried off into the back room. I sat myself, alone, at a computer and began to navigate through pages upon pages of jobs. There were a few promising prospects, but upon closer reading I changed my mind hastily. I continued my search through the pages but came to no result.

The walk home felt like I'd been walking forever. The cold wind nipped at my cheeks, leaving me flushed and red. I can't say that I cared much for the weather, only the standard towards the start of British wintertime. I hated the novelty of numb fingers, and the scarce snow that sometimes covered the streets. I hated the grey clouds that hung overhead and the absence of the sun from the sky. In short, winter time was something I could live without.

I bundled myself further into my coat, attempting to shield myself from the wind. It offered me little protection, but it was more adequate than going without. The park that followed my route home was empty, the autumn leaves rustling along the path. No more children filled the scene and the swings rocked gently with the breeze, devoid of sitting children.

The familiar sight of blossom-filled trees and blue skies was a far cry from the scene before me in that moment. It was solitary and secluded. It was what I needed. Even with my distain towards the weather, it was an ideal way to lose myself in my thoughts and try to get my head around everything.

I must have looked out of place. The girl on the bench staring wistfully into the wind. The girl with nothing better to do with her life. That was exactly the problem, I had nothing better to do. Nothing to bide my time.

Something in the back of my head told me that I'd wind up in the same village I grew up in, working away at a dead-end job. I couldn't be that girl. This place was too still, nothing ever moved quick enough and change was a slow process. I couldn't imagine waking up in twenty years time to find myself stuck here. Life is fast paced, I couldn't slow it down by staying here.

The birds that rested in the branches of the trees fluttered off all at once. Their departure left a rustling in the leaves and I watched as they flew off into the distance. They were leaving for somewhere hot, to escape the long winter that lay ahead.

I never understood why birds did that. I used to think that homes were forever, so it always left me perplexed when I'd see the birds migrating for the winter. Back then, I didn't know about the big world that was outside my doorstep. I just trundled through life, like any child does.

For a while, I just sat and thought about what I wanted to do. I could do anything, go anywhere. There were no limits, except those of my imagination. I couldn't think of anything to do with my life. I was stuck for ideas.

When I'd pondered over my choices for long enough, I stood up and stuffed my hands into my pockets. Casting a final look at the park, I turned my back and left.

I left with less of an idea of what to do than I arrived with.

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