As I got dress for Joy's funeral I thought about all the memories that I had with her. Joy was like my first child. I raised her and myself. Then tears fell as I looked in the mirror. I was torn.
I finally got it together and grabbed my clutch and my keys and went out to the car. With Jamie also coming he followed and hopped in the passenger seat.
"Bae I'm sorry that this happened." He said.
"Bae it's okay."
"I'm here."
"I know."
I arrived at Owens funeral home. I stepped out. I seen family members who I never seen the I seen family members that I have not seen in a long time. It's crazy how family can come together when someone died but they can't come to check on each other.
Jamie and I walked in the funeral home. I seen that Passion was crying so I walked over to give her a hug.
"Hope you look beautiful." She complimented .
"Thanks are you okay?"
"Trying to be its just so hard to see her in that casket."
"Come on come sit down." I guided her to her seat then Jamie and I sat down next to her.
"Now I know that Joy's older cousin Hope had a few words to share today. So can you come up here Hope?" The pastor introduced me. Then I got up and walked up to the podium.
"Hey everyone. I can't remember the last time I seen most of you guys. I do remember I was having a dinner meeting my boyfriends family when I got a call that Joy was in a car accident. I immediately started to panic. I also remember when I was always babysitting her when her mother needed me to. At first I hated but I grew so attach to her that I thought of her like my first child. I promised her I would always be there for her no matter what I would be going through. To know she isn't coming back hurts my heart. I thought she would have to bury me first not me burying her first." I paused and started crying. Then Jamie stood up and walked over to hold me. Then I continue." I never had a mother but I had Passion. I never had a little sister but I had Joy. It hurts to say that she's gone but I know she's in a better place. She will be waiting for me at the gates. If I could see her just once last time I would hug her and tell her I love her."I finally finished then Jamie walked me back to my seat.
After the service everyone stood around to talk and reminisce. While I sat down with Jamie and laid on his shoulders. Then I seen my mother. She had given Passion a hug. Then she spotted me and started walking over towards me.
"Hey Hope." She said.
"You know what I ain't gonna curse you out at Joys funeral. But shouldn't you be home with your nasty ass boyfriend?" I asked standing up.
"Hope I need him."
"That's just sick. How could you sleep at night knowing you still fucking with the same nigga that raped your daughter?"
"Who else is going to help me out?"
"Get out of my face , before I get loud."
"Look I just came to see how you was hold up?"
"I'm fucking fine."
After the funeral Jamie took me to the buffet to make me feel better.
"Bae can I ask you something?" Asked Jamie.
"Sure."
"Was that your mother?"
"Yes."
"She still with her boyfriend after you told her?"
"Yup at first she said she did know who to believe."
"That's crazy if I had a daughter or son too I would believe my child over anyone."
"Mer too but my mother was messed up."
"Do you still love her
"I hate her for what she let happen but that's my mother and I only get one so."
"Look bae you got me."
"I know."
"Yup we gonna start our own family and you can put all that bullshit behind you."
"Okay."
"Can I have a kiss?"
"Sure Daddy."
After lunch we went home. Jamie was leaving tonight to go back to Miami. So we went home so he could pack.
"I wish you didn't have to leave." I said as I wrapped my arms around waist.
"Bae I don't wanna leave either."
"Can I have some more before you go?"
"Yeah I got time."
Even though Jamie did his thing he had to go so I had to let him go. It was time for me to return back to my life.
Trying to not think about Joy was very hard. I went to school in the morning then I would collect money from Juice. Then I would go to the club at night. I did that routine for about 4 months. Then Jamie came to stay for two weeks.
"Bae I'm thinking about quitting this stripper life." I said walking in the kitchen with with my lace bra and panties on.
"Why?" He said smacking my ass when he walked past me.
"I'm tired of coming in hella late. I'm tired of them dumb ass bitches. I'm really done with that shit. I got almost a million dollars in my back account. That's all club money."
"You can always help your man move work."
"I know. Are you cooking breakfast?"
"I really don't feel like it are you?"
"No let's go out to the breakfast dinner for breakfast."
"Okay. What you wanna do today?"
"I wanna go get my nails and stuff done. Then I wanna go to see a movie or something."
"I need a haircut too."
"Bae you don't never come with me to get my nails done."
"I don't wanna be around hella females."
"Okay."
"Look let me go get my haircut and then if your not finish when I'm done then I stay and wait for you."
"Okay."
"Let's get dress I'm hungry. Did you roll up?"
"Yeah. We need to go get some more weed too."
"I got you."
To go out for the day I wore my black pull over hoodie with my black legging with my pink ugg boots. Jamie wore his black timberlands with his black Balmain jeans. With his black pull over hoodie.
"Bae I love you so much." I said as I stared at him eat.
"I love you too." He replied.
"If I wanted to join you in move work how would it work?"
"I would have you doing what you already do. Then sometimes I might have you go make some drops. I need you to be on your P's and Q's."
"I got you. Look I just been thinking about money wise and this ain't how I want to make money forever."
"Okay well when ever your ready."
"Okay."
Free breakfast we headed over to the bank. So I can put some money in. Once we started driving to the nail salon so Jamie can drop me off we got pulled over.
"Shit!" Jamie shouted.
"What?"
"I got a gun in the glove department."
"Just relax." I grabbed the gun out the glove department then I slipped it into my MK bag.
"License and registration please." Asks the officer. After receiving his license and registration he asked him to step out the car.
On the other hand I sat in the car praying to God that they wouldn't ask me to step out.
Jamie got back the car. He put his license and registration in the arm rest and then he buckled his seat beat no word from him. When we got home he sat on the couch.
"Bae is everything okay?" I asked sitting next to him.
"Yes."
"Are you sure?
"Why did you put the gun in your purse?"
"I thought it would be there and they won't check me."
"He checked the whole car and me."
"I know that's why I was scared but I was surprised he didn't check me."
"I don't know what to say. You held your own. You proved that you'll ride for a nigga."
"I wasn't about to let you down."
"Come here." Jamie pulled me closer then he kissed me. Then we took things to the bed room.
"Mmmmm." I moaned holding Jamie's head while he sucked my soul away.
"Mmmmmm. You like that?" Jamie sucked and licked faster.
"Oh shit baby I'm about to squirt!"
"Mmmmm."
"Uh shit.!"
"Squirt for daddy." Jamie fingered my tight clit. While licking and sucking.
"Uh shit! Fuck!"
I squirted. I felt so relaxed after.
"Baby I love you." Jamie said as he kissed my lips.
"I love you too."
Jamie and me did our usual for the next couple days. I worked the club and moved work with him and went to school. Jamie moved twice as much product working with me. We also managed to have some quality alone time together.
After Jamie went back to Miami I was back to being alone. I took this time to go chill with people. So I decided to meet up with Monica.
"Hope I thought we would never chill. By the way I'm sorry for your lost." Said Monica.
"It's okay but let's go do some shopping."
"I'm with that."
"So do you have a boyfriend?"
"Yes I do why?"
"This boy I know asked me to put you on him."
"Oh.
I'm happy with the man I got."
"How long have you and him been together?"
"A couple of months."
"Okay I see you."
After shopping with Monica I went home. I didn't have no miss calls from Jamie or even my aunt Passion so I took a shower and called it a night. The next morning I went to school. I went home after school i to get the money from juice and then I was off to the club.
The next morning I didn't feel so good. I was throwing up and I had a bad headache but I went to school anyway.
"Yo Hope!" Yelled a voice from behind me as I was walking in the school building. I turned around to see Ron.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked
"I came to ask you a question."
"What?"
"Did you know?" He asked then he walked closer with this evil look in his eyes.
"Did I know what?"
"I'm going to ask you one more time. Did you know?" He balled up his fist.
"I'm leaving because I don't know what you're talking about."
Ron grabbed my arm and turn me around then he swung. I took a blow to the face. Then he jabbed me again and again. Then blood started to pour from my face.
"Stop!" I screamed. I guess no one heard me.
"You knew she was fucking someone else!You knew that baby wasn't mine! He shouted as he punchcard and kicked me over and over. The beating last for about 6 minutes. Then I remember waking up in a hospital room.
"Hello Ms.Wright, I'm nurse Sarah. How are you feeling?" The nurse asked.
"Where am I ?"
"Your at NYC Health hospital in Harlem. You were attacked and someone brought you here. Is there anyone I can call?"
"My aunt."
"I will be right back."
I couldnt really see much. I had a real bad headache. All I could remember was Ron talking to me. I don't know how I ended up here but I just knew Ron had something to do with it.
Then the nurse walked back in.
"Your aunt didn't answer us there anyone else?"
"No I have have nobody."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Stop asking!"
"Ma'am I'm going to need you to calm down."
"What? Your not the one who got beat up."
"Ma'am I understand your under age so I have to inform someone that's your caregiver."
"Just call my mother."
"Okay."
After about 10 minutes the nurse came back.
"Your mom said she's on her way."
"Okay."
"Do you remember anything before this incident happened?"
"No."
"Okay well just rest I'll see you when your mom gets here."
"Okay."
A half an hour past before my mother showed up. I wasn't in the best place. On top of that I had to face my mother.
"So what happened to Hope?" She asked. She seemed worried about me but I figured she don't.
"Look Hope was beaten very bad. She has a broken nose. A blood shot eye. She has 3 ribs broken. She had fractured cheekbone. She's luck to be just." The nurse explained.
From how much pain I was feeling I believed everything the nurse said.
"Okay. Well when will you release her?"
"She can gone right now. Just let me get the discharge papers." The nurse walked away. Then my mother walked over by my bed.
"The doctors said you can go home right now. Do you want me to get you a cab or something. I'm pretty sure you don't want me to ride you back to your house."
"I got my car. It's parked at the school just drive me to the school ol drive my self back home." I finally spoke. In my mind I really wanted to curse her out but I figured I couldn't get released. The soon I get out of here the sooner I can get from around her.
"Okay we'll get dress while I got sign the papers." My mother walked out. I stood up and grabbed my jacket then I slid into my Ugg's, then I left.
The whole ride there we didn't say not aa word to each other. It made me mad that my mother and I were in these terms. I But I'll be damn if I let my family turn against me. I love my mother to death , but she could never be my mother anymore because of that shit that she did.
Once she pulled up to the school I looked out the window. Then I looked at her while she looked straight ahead.
"Look." I started then I paused." I love you because you brought me in his world. I hate you because she put a nigga before me. I got raped and best not you. That hurt me I kept my mouth shut because I knew you needed his money. I left to go do my own so I won't have to deal with him but when I came back to tell you everything I felt like I went through all that pain for someone who doesn't give a fuck about me." I explained.
"Hope I didn't know how much I hurt you until the next day when Jason admitted to do those things. I called the cops then Jason went in his car and shot himself. I love you I just didn't know what to do." My mother starts crying. I knew she loved Jason. I knew she was heartbroken but I couldn't let her in my life again.
"Look I'm good living how I am. Im in good shape to drive me home. I Gucci that we had this talk. I do gotta go home. Thanks for coming to pick me up , but I got things from here. See you around." I closed the door then I walked to my car. I got in then I called Jamie.
"Yo. I ain't hear from you all day. What happened?" Jamie asked.
"I got attacked by Ron I just got out the hospital." I explained.
"Yo what the fuck! You sure he did it?"
"Yo bae he approached me while I was walking into school about me knowing Chrissy was pregnant by someone else. The he started beating on me."
"Yo I'll be there tomorrow."
"I'm gonna hop in the jet then I'll be there."
"Alright."
"Where you at?"
"I'm one home."
"You with someone?"
"No."
"Hurry up and get home call me back when you get home."
"Okay."
After hanging up with Jamie. I drove off. The whole ride home I kept thinking about how I was going to get back at Ron this shit.
When I got home I went upstairs and laid in my bed. Then I call Jamie back.
"You home?" asked Jamie.
"Yeah."
"Look my jet about to take off so I'll call you when I land."
"Okay."
I hung up then I just closed my eyes. The next morning when I woke up I had the worst headache. I turned on the shower then I looked in the mirror. My face was swollen bad. I just wanted to cry, but then I felt sick to my stomach. I got on my knees and started throwing up in the toilet.
"Bae!" Yelled Jamie.
"I'm upstairs!" I yelled then threw up some more.
"Yo bae ! You good?" Asked Jamie standing in the door way.
"Yes-" I threw up again. Then I stood up I flushed the toilet then I rinse my mouth out.
"Yo look at your face!"
"Look I'm fine I just gotta wait for the swelling to go down. Then I'll be back to my normal self."
"So he beat you because his bitch got pregnant by someone else?"
"Me and her being best friends at the time he knew I would of known. I think he still mad about that rumor shit he started."
"Yo where that nigga be at? We gotta stop this shit for once and for all."
"I know that he and Chrissy live on Peters ave by that subway."
"Look I'll take care of it."
"Okay."
"Your face looks bad, so just just rest."
"Bae I'm fine. Can you go get my medicine for me. While your out can you get me some fries and mashed potatoes from Popeyes?"
"Okay I'll be back."
Once Jamie left I got in bed.
Jamie took care of me until my face started to go down. Jamie was so focused on catching Ron. He would talk about it all the time. When my face was starting to get better I returned to school then I would come home.
"Jamie!" I yelled.
"Yes?" He asked as he appeared out the kitchen.
"What you do all day?"
"I went looking for Ron. Then I went to go makes some moves."
"Bae that nigga gonna pop up."
"Why does it seem like he not?"
"Because you haven't found him."
"True."
"Let's go tonight."
"I'm not really in the mood."
"Please my face is healing and I want to spend some time with my nigga."
"Okay we can go out."
"Thanks."
After we dressed we drove to Chipotle.
"Bae thanks for coming out with me." I said.
"It's no problem. I'm just upset that I can't find this nigga that did this shit to you." Jamie grabbed my hand and held it as he looked in my eyes. I could tell that he was really hurting.
"Look bae we gonna catch him slipping. We just need to focus on getting this money right now."
"True."
"Now give me some kisses."
We spent time together. Then we went back to the crib. Jamie took a showe and went to sleep. While I stayed up thinking about Ron. I knew if Jamie found him he would be dead in no time. I just didn't know what I would do if I seen Ron. With no answer I went to sleep too.
The next morning I went for jog. Then I came home to shower then I wet to go get my nails and feet done. Once I was all finished with that I headed home.
I saw the gas was getting low so I stopped at the gas station.
I got out he car then I went tin the store. I paid for the gas and a Snicker I bought.
When turning around to buckle my seat belt, I saw Ron walking alone. I decided to follow him. As I drove behind him also staying out of sight, I checked to see if Jamie might of left a gun or sim in the car. I was right on. Jamie had a 9mm. In the arm rest of my car. I checked and saw it was loaded so I knew just what needed to happen.
He finally stopped . He was at the Bando. I parked out of sight , then I got out with the gun by my side. Once Ron closed the door. I walked up to the house. I knew that when Khyree and I used to go out they would always leave the back door unlocked just encased the police came and kicked the door down. So went around back. I spelled throug the window and seen that he wasn't in the kitchen so I walked in. I walked through the house towards the living room. I seen him counting money.
I wasn't even gonna lie I was so scared. I never had to do something like this. So I slow approached Ron from behind. I point the gun to the back of his head. Then I moved closer causing the gun to touch the back of his head. The hair in his neck stood up.
"Don't fucking move. I'm telling you if you move one muscle I will give your family a reason to dress in all black." He followed directions. He didn't move. I had him right where I wanted him.
"Look who ever you is bitch, you better think twice before you pulled that trigger." He explained.
"Shut the hell up did you think before you put me in the hospital and nearly killed me over your dumb bitch Chrissy?"
Rx"Is this Hope?"
"Yes. Why so surprised?"
"Yo I should of put a bullet in your head."
"Should of , would of , could of nut you didn't . So shut the fuck up." I began walking around to the front of him.
"If you didn't have this gun I would of killed your ass for good!"
"But I do have the gun and I won't make the same mistake twice." I let off two in his head. I ran out as fast as I could. I drove off hoping no one seen me.
When I got home I got in the shower , then waited for Jamie to get home.
"Hey bae I brought you some Wendy's while I was out." Jamie put the bags on thmy counter teen leaned over to give me a kiss.
"Thanks but we gotta talk."
"Wassup?"
"I handled the Ron situation."
"What you talking about?"
"I ran into him while I was at the sad station and I handled him."
"What you do?"
"I used the gun you left in the arm rest to kill him."
"Wait . What?"
"Yeah."
"Baby where the gun at ?"
"I put it up in the closet in the safe box that I have."
"Why you don't call me?"
"I felt like I could do it."
"Baby from now on I handle if the nurses and shit. Lord knows I don't need no murder shit leading back to you."
"Okay but bae I held my own."
"I know but just listen to me."
"Okay."
"I love you baby."
"I love you too."
After we ate and we went to bed cuddling with each other. I still couldn't believe I caught my first body. I hadn't been to the club in weeks. But I knew it was back to the money.
So I went to the gym then I went run to shower and rest then I went to the club.
When I got here I got a drink like usual then I went to the dressing room.
"Hey baby girl." Said Mecca another stripper.
"Hey."
"Where you been?"
"In the hospital."
"You good?"
"Yeah."
"Alright."
After a couple of dances and drinks I left. When I got home Jamie was sleep on the couch.
The next morning I got dress for school. Like usual people asked was I okay. The boys tried to talk to me and the girls would chat about me. I just couldn't wait to get home. To see my baby.
After school I drove straight home. Jamie's car was parked outside.when I got in his friends were chilling with him.
"Hey bae." Jamie greeted.
"Hey." I replied giving him a kiss.
"How was school?"
"It was great. How was your day?"
"It's better now that your here."
"Awwww."
"Can you come in the kitchen real quick?"
"Yeah." He got up and followed me in the kitchen.
I sat on the counter then pulled him towards me.
"Why you didn't tell me they were coming over?"
"Yo they just came on they own. Why. You want them to leave?"
"No. I want this." I unbuckled and and unzipped his pants.
"You got panties on?"
"Nope took them off in the car."
"Mmmm. You miss daddy?"
"Yes."
"Come suck daddy dick."
I got off the counter then on my knees. I lick his tip just how he likes it.
"Uh shit." He whispered under his breath.
"Mmmm . This dick taste good."
"Fuck. Mmm."
"Mmmmm."
"Get up on the counter." Jamie demanded I did as he said.
As soon a sat on the counter he opened my legs then he slid his hardness inside my wet tight pussy.
"Mmm. Daddy." Once I moaned Jamie started stroking fast. He wrapped his hand around my neck and stared choking me and fucking me wt the same time.
"Who pussy is this?"
"It's yours bae."
"What's my name?"
"Daddy."
"I can't hear you."
"Daddy."
"Mmmm."
"Daddy this dick big."
"Shut up and take it."
"Uh fuck. I'm about to squirt." Jamie speeds up his strokes. I dogged my nails in his back. After a couple of more strokes I explode. I squirted all on his dick. He kept going.
"Ooh."
"Yeah you love his dick right?"
"Yes daddy."
"Who pussy is this?"
"It's your daddy."
"Where you want me to come at?"
"Come in your pussy."
"Uh shit. Fuck. Uh." Jamie released finally. He came right in me.
I kissed him and he picked me up off the counter then he put me on my feet.
I realized I had to clean the kitchen now.
After our quickie. Jamie went to rejoin his friends and I went up stairs to change them I came back down to start dinner and clean the kitchen.
"Bae what you cooking?" Asked Jamie.
"I was going to make the fried chicken and yellow rice. Is that what it want?" I came out the kitchen and walked into the living room next to him.
"Yeah that's good."
"Okay." As I walked away Jamie smacked my ass.
"Jamie where you meet here?" Asked Ty.
Then I stop to turn around.
"I mean she cooks she clean she can dress she help you move work she look good. Like she perfect." Ty continued.
"We met at the mall."
"Damn I need to go there often."
"It ain't the mall that's important it's the women a the mall. Every girl ain't real. Every girl can't cook , eveygirl don't make their own money. Those type of women are hard to miss. But easy to lose."
"True." Replied Ty.
I went back into the kitchen. Since Jamie friends were still here when dinner was ready I made enough for everyone.
"Y'all the food is ready!" I announced. They all got up. Jamie came right to me and gave me a kiss.
We sat at the table. We all are then they stayed to chill with us then they bounced. We were finally alone.
"Baby I really love you." Stated Jamie as we cuddle on the couch.
"I love you too."
"I want us to have a family together. I want us to get money together. I don't wanna lose you."
"Aww baby I ain't going no where. I want everything you want too."
"Gimme a kiss." I did as he wished.
We slept great like usual. Jamie stayed for two more day then he led to go back home. I did my thing too. We did this routine for months then it was h3 months until graduation and a couple of days until prom. This boy Bor asked me to prom. So I had plans to go with him. Jamie hired a professional photographer to take pictures of me. I had picked out a red long dress with a long train. It was a strapless dress that was silk. I loved it.
The day big prom I got my nails and hair done. I let Nia do my make up and my hair. I had wine curls in my hair. I stayed. I enjoyed prom. I had won prom queen too.
Even though I felt like I was in paradise it was back to moving bricks and stripping.
School was almost over and I wasnt trying to fuck up nothing. My grades were perfect I had my graduation outfit ready I had been informed that I was Valor Victorian so I prepared a speech. My Senior year couldn't be any better.
I walked in 3rd period. Late because I over slept.
"My Wright our late." Said Ms. Moore.
"I know." I replied as I sat down.
"This is your second time being late to my class one more late and you won't walk."
"Wow y'all finally say something to her. I thought y'all would never say nothing to the queen." Jada sarcastically said.
"Jada I will mop the floor with your hoe ass!" I stood up and turned around.
"Hope let's not go here." She stood up too.
"What's your problem with me? You always got something smart to say."
"It's my mouth I can say what I want."
"You just a hoe ass bitch."
"You a hoe ass bitch."
"You don't know nothing about me."
"I know you smashed Ron and Khyree."
"Bitch!"
"Everyone sit down now!"m
I sat down but I was pissed that everyone knew about that shit. Now niggas think I'm really fucking hella niggas.
After school Jamie came to pick me up. First we walked to the store before I got in car. I saw some of my other classmates walk in. I walked in Jamie followed. We picked up snacks. We finally got to the register as Jamie looked down at his wallet to find his card, then in walked Jada.
She was mean mugging me as if she had a problem. I ignored.
"Is that hoe Hope?" Asked Jada once again speaking my name and starting shit.
"Jada you got one more time to say some slick shit, son." I turned around Jamie grabbed my arm.
"Hope I ain't scared of you Chrissy beat your ass I'll do the same thing bitch."
"Really so wassup?" I ran towards her. I grabbed her hair and dragged her on the floor as I punched and stomped on her. Jamie tried to break it up. While others recorded and cheered on.
"Yo!Let the fuck go ! " yelled Jamie as I held on tight to Jada's hair. But finally I let go. Jamie grabbed my arm then he pulled me as he walked out.
When we got in the car, Jamie was pissed. He started the car up Then he pulled off. The whole ride home was silent. When we got in the house I went straight upstairs. Jamie turned on the stereo hella loud like he always do when he don't wanna be bothered, then he turned on the game.
I had changed my clothes then I pulled out homework. Trying to figure out the math for my homework seemed to be harder because I couldn't focus my phone was blowing up and I could seem to figure out how this bitch knows my business. Then I went downstairs to see about Jamie.
"Yo! I'm trying to do homework!" I yelled over the music. Jamie ignored me. He was upset." I know you hear me!" I screamed again. But he didn't even budge. So I walked over to the stereo and turned it off.
"Hope turn the stereo back on." Jamie finally spoke.
"I'm trying to do homework."
"Hope get out of my face."
"Why you mad?"
"I try to be calm with you but everywhere you turn it's something with you. I can't even go to fucking corner store without the bullshit."
"Bruh what was I supposed to do."
"Let her talk. If it's true or not she ain't worth shit."
"Whatever."
"You claim you grown but you still doing childish shit. Let the bitch talk just know you get money and you got a real ass nigga."
"I'm not about to take no shorts."
"Whatever son turn my stereo back on."
"No."
"You wanna play." Jamie stood up and pushed me over and turned the stereo on. I pushed as he walked away.
"Don't put your hands on me."
"Shut up! When you going back home?"
"I'll leave tonight son. It don't matter."
"I need you to go. You just blew my shit."
"I will leave then." Jamie went upstairs to grab his things then he brought them downstairs to put in his bag. He grabbed his keys his phone and his charger then he walked out the door.
I turned off the stereo then I flopped down on the couch. I sat there think about everything. I had so much drama in my life that shit was falling apart. I felt sick to my stomach. So I ran to the bathroom to throw up.
I stood up then opened the cabinet under the sink because that's where I hid the pregnancy test from Jamie.
I had been meaning to take the test but I never found the right time.I peed on the stick the I left it on the sink. I came back five minutes later and looked down a saw two lines which meant positive.
I had been going through hella shit and now I'm about to have a whole new life looking up to me. Joy's gone. My mother won't ever be much to me. I got into it with my future husband and now a mommy to-be. The drama leads to a blessing. This was huge.
