Hey Adam

our secret's safe

A/N: so, I was listening to Hey Adam by Mandolin Oranges and this happened. Title, character name, and chapter title taken from the song and its lyrics. (See end for more explanation) 

God, I was exhausted. People could be so draining, especially when they were confusing. I hit the package of cigarettes against my thigh a few times, the fresh plastic covering cool against the skin exposed by too-expensive pre-ripped jeans. He was pissing me off and I just wanted out- of this school, of this town, of this life that never suited me. The lighter is familiar in my hand as I light up, the smoke burning and soothing in a way I'd come to rely on. It was the only sense of stability I had anymore. I flick some ashes on the ground and glance down the street, a slow breath escaping my lips.

It smelled like rain. You know that distinct, earthy, scent? As if the temperature drop effected every sense, the wind carrying the scent of damp pavement from the city over. Across the lot, Adam is still pacing. I know he wants to come over here but damn it if he does.

Or hell, damn it if he doesn't.

I don't give a shit. He hadn't talked to me in weeks, why start caring now? 

I take another drag, letting my eyes fall shut and my heart steady. When I open them, one at a time, I see him walking over here. My eyes skirt to the other side of the road and a take a final drag before tossing the cigarette on the ground, letting the smoke out of my system slowly as I glare at him, my boot digging the bud into the cement. When it's out I place my boot on the brick wall behind me, cross my arms over my chest and lean back. "Adam, long time no see," I remark as he approaches. 

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore." I look at him in confusion. Do what, I ask. He shakes his head and looks around us. "You know what. I can't pretend it didn't happen." I laugh, I genuinely laugh. God, he was so...something. I don't know what the fuck he was but it was something.

"How can you laugh? How does it not effect you, how are you fine?" God, now that I looked closer, he looks wrecked.

I smirk at the thought, of the memory of my lips doing that to him.

I barely even touched him. I love it.

"Listen, sweetheart-"

"Is this a joke to you? Do you think this is funny?" He looks legitimately peeved. I know it's my fault for egging him on but there's something about the way he's biting his lip and running his fingers through that preppy tousled hair that makes me push him a little further. Not to mention that this was the first time he'd spoken to me since the damn kiss and it didn't feel so great to be ignored. Not that I'd admit it, I had a reputation to uphold.

"A little," I smirk, pushing off the wall and walking towards him, my arms swinging down to my sides. I see him swallow, eyeing me nervously. He's taller, but not by much. Not by enough to not be intimidated by me.

"Well...it's not funny, Ames," he says. His voice is on the verge of shaking and I wonder if I can get that tremor going a little more. I crowd his space and he swallows again, his chest rising and falling a little faster. Good.