Cross My Heart *One Direction* SLOW UPDATES

Chapter 2

Chemotherapy is about a 4 hour process. They take your blood and start your IV right away. They fill you with steroids, saline and Benedryl to get your body ready, and they wait for the chemo drugs to be brought up from the pharmacy in the bright green zip-lock bag they come in. It's not until after all that they actually drip the chemicals into your bloodstream.  

Needless to say its not fun. I left feeling like I was going to cry. And I was really starting to regret coming alone. I got out my phone and dialed my older brother's number.  

"Cullen?" I said as soon as he picked up.  

"Caitlin?" He asked, surprised.  

"Will you pick me up?" I asked. "I'm up at the hospital and I don't want to go home." His voice was gentler.  

"Of course, love. I'll be by in 5." The line went dead with a click, and I leaned against the wall. A sweet nurse came up and asked if I was okay. I forced myself to smile her.  

"Yes, Ma'am, just waiting on my brother."  

My brother and his roommate arrived a few minutes later. My brother escorted my to my car, and helped me into my passenger seat, and instructing his roommate to drive his car home. He started up the engine, and I grimaced as the car rolled. Thanking God Niall wasn't here to see this, I leaned against the cool window glass and tried to hold onto my non-breakfast.  

In reaching Cullen's apartment without throwing up was a pretty good achievement I thought, so I allowed myself to curl up on Cullen's couch and watch "Beauty and the Beast," out of the Disney animated movie collection he kept just for me. I was asleep by the time Belle refused to eat with the Beast.  

I woke up starving, but also knowing whatever I ate would probably give me awful stomach pains. Cullen was gone, but I knew he probably had classes up at the University. I found a blanket and some saltine crackers, and curled back up, just in time for Belle's last dance. Not feeling like going home, I put The little Mermaid in next and watched as Ariel and Prince Eric lived happily ever after.  

Could Niall and I do that, beat the odds? Could he love me with this... cancer? (Ew. The C-word.) 

No. You already decided it would distract him, ruin his chances. He would resent you. Better just to wait until after the show as planned.  

But... I really couldn't think of a valid argument without being extremely selfish. My mental argument exhausted me, and I passed out again on the couch.  

*** 

8:35, I read through bleary eyes. I wondered vaguely if it was AM or PM, because my clock didn't indicate that. Wait, my clock? I bolted upright, ignoring the splitting headache and focusing on confirming I was home. Cullen must have brought me home, but I didn't remember it at all. I groaned, then rubbed my eyes and swung myself out of bed. The hallways were dark, but that didn't mean anything, they wouldn't have left any lights on if it was morning and they were at church, or Flynn's football game or whatever. I pushed Flynn's door open, finding his bed empty and unmade. The next morning then. It felt odd to think I wasn't at church or out with my family, but I supposed God would forgive me, considering.  

I wandered back to my room and got ready for the day. I put on Nike running pants on and my athletic/lounge around gear, realizing that today was going to be a lazy day. I braided my hair back down my back and applied minimal makeup. I walked downstairs, and my stomach growled, and I found a note on the fridge from my mum. 

Caitie- I made bacon and eggs for you, they are in the microwave.  

Love you, Mum :) I read. I grabbed a glass of water and a handful of pills I was required to take and choked them down. Then I walked to the microwave, opening it to pull the plastic wrap off the top and heat it. I made myself eat most of it, despite the nausea filling my stomach, and decided to take a bit of a walk in our backyard. Being outside calmed my stomach, and I had just leaned down to smell a rose when Niall's mum called to me.