Unbounded Derangement

Relinquishment

The jarring pulled me out of my heavy sleep. I was still clinging to the darker side but the light was pulling me in. My name was said many times, coupled by sweetie, honey, and other terms of endearment. They were telling me to hold on, to wake up, and to not let go. Hands tugged at my shirt, cutting away the fabric with ease. Calm faces filled my vision, smiling at me as my eyes locked with theirs. Air filled my chest, pushing through rhythmically. It never let up, just kept going without a pause. I knew I wasn’t making the effort to breathe, there was something doing it for me. My lids still felt heavy, but curiosity wanted me to investigate. I could’ve sworn I died back there…

Where am I?

Everything felt like slow motion as I watched it all unfold in front of me. The pumping of my chest, the gloved hands as they cleaned my wounds, the rocking motion of the small room I was in. It was all so strange. I was teetering between life and death but, I was being forced to stay here. But I didn’t want to, I was ready to go. It was my time.  

“Kayse, honey, please stay with us.”

They asked me again, their hands becoming more and more desperate as they tried to pump life into me. My eyes wandered off into the corner, in the direction of the sobbing that was so loud it tore me out of my refusal to live. A boy with dark blonde hair had his face buried in his hands as he cried out begging for them to save me. He lifted his face up his gorgeous blues stunning as tears fell l from them. “Kayse please!” His hand found its way to my leg, “Please live!”

I would’ve listened but the angel behind him reached her hands out to me, her face shone like the brightest light, it was heavenly and warm. “It’s time to go Kayse.. It’s time for you to leave.”

I didn’t know who to listen to. The boy or the angel? The boy was desperate in his pleas and cries and the angel was so calm with her arms stretched out in soundless gesturing.

“We’re losing her!” I could hear one of the women scream far away.

Everything was fading to black, to the point where all I could see was the angel smiling above the sobbing boy. She smiled brighter than ever as the light around her intensified. It was blinding but beautiful, her azure eyes sparkled as the glow around her took on a shade of gold. The light warmed up as marble feathers filled my vision; they floated past me and around me as if they were trying to lift me up towards her.

“It’s now or never Kayse… Are you coming?” Her voice was melodious and rich, like a song from a choir as her open palm appeared in front of my face. Without hesitation I grabbed it.

Everything went completely black and then just…. Silence.

I was walking in the clouds, the gates in my view. They were gold and ornate, so beautiful that no human could describe. As I walked towards them all of my fears and doubts left me, like a giant weight had propelled itself off my shoulders. My hand outstretched towards the gilded gate with joy and anticipation for what was to come. However, before I could even touch them the voices started, they filled my head, and racked my skull with no release. I put my hands over my ears to stop them, my eyes focusing on the angel that took me away.

“Make it stop, please!” I begged her, my fingers clawing at my ears as the voices magnified. They screamed and roared my name, begging for my attention. I could hear things crashing and breaking and something warm touch my chest. That’s when the first jolt hit me. I fell to my knees as the air expelled itself from my body. I stared at the angel with wide eyes, perplexity filling my face.

“It is not your time.” Was all she said as she faded from my vision as another jolt hit me. I cried out in pain as my knees crushed into the soft pillow-like ground. I reached out a hand to her, tears in my eyes as I pleaded for her to change my fate. “P-Please!!” I struggled to say as tried to crawl her way; the electricity coursing through my veins. “I want this to end!!”