The Badass Aunt

Badass Aunt

I pull my suit case, (no longer The Fuck You Mobile, I took off the ribbon) out of the cab and roll it behind me as I walk up to the teacher with the extremely fake smile.
"Is Iris here?" I ask with a bored voice.
"Oh Iris . . . What a," she stops to think her fake smile wavering and she searches for the right words, ". . . Wonderful child, wouldn't you say?" She finishes
"Mmm" I say tightening my lips into a straight line and raising my eyebrows, not wanting to talk to this woman any longer.
"You must be Trip, I'm Casey," (Clique as fuck name,) she reaches out her hand for me to shake, "Maddy has told me so much about you!"
Kill. Me. Now.
"Oh, great" I say sarcastically
Casey turns swinging her blonde short hair in the process and yells to Iris,
"Iris, grab your stuff, your ride is here!" A short girl with dirty blonde hair with a light green streak in it turns her head to face Casey. Her over sized glasses fall of her head and she immediately bends over to pick them up. Then she turns on her heel and goes into the small house. I turn back to Casey once she closes the door.
"I am going to need you to sign this," Casey says looking down at her clip board and flipping the the pages. Now that her head is facing down I can see the large dark circles under her eyes. She looks back up holding out the clip board and pen to me. I grab the pen a scribble my name in cursive on the line at the bottom.
"Thank you!" Casey chirps and turns away from me and heads in to the house.
She comes out moments later with Iris at her side. Casey holds a tiny sweat shirt that must belong to Iris, who is, by the way, struggling to get a large backpack on both of her shoulders.
"Okay!" Casey says looking up at me, "She's all yours!" Casey ties Iris's sweat shirt around her waist and gently pushes her in front of me.
     Now here's the thing. I have never like super young kids. And here's why,
First of all, they are gross. Sorry all you happy parents who love their snotty ass kids, not for me.
Secondly, I know people will be surprised by this, but, kids are too darn happy.  I know, I know, "being happy is a good thing!" But no. If you are happy for a good reason ok, you do you. But kids don't know what is a good reason to be happy is. And they don't know their limits. They take "happy" to a whole new, annoying, level.
Also, this isn't really a reason but, why in the hell do people have kids any way? I know sometimes you get knocked up and now you have a child like my sister, but, if you have a choice and your like, "Oh! Kids are so lovely let's have our own!" What. The. Hell. No. Just. No.
I do have to admit kids are interesting. They are brilliant in there own way. Yoda thinks children's minds are brilliant and if you can't trust Yoda who can you trust? I would talk to kids more if I wasn't afraid to get snot all over me.
     So now there is this kid looking up at me with those happy eyes that drive me insane. And now I am here looking down into those eyes resisting the urge to slap those bright blue happy eyes right of her face. I'm here now, after traveling half way across the country looking in those happy eyes knowing that I am a supposed to be a good example. I am not a good example and I am not going to start to be a good person just because of one fucking little kid.
     "Come on," I say sounding in unamused
I motion for her to follow me down the sidewalk towards her house. We walked in silence for awhile, I didn't even look at her once but I could feel her eyes burning into my skull.
"So your my Aunt?" She asks with a sort of sweet voice, but not sweet enough to make me get soft. But, Aunt. Never thought of it that way. Never wanted to, to be honest.
"Ya, apparently so" I say trying so hard to sound bored.
"You look to badass to be a boring old Aunt" she says casually, like its a fact. I look at her for a moment with a lot of things running through my head. She skips down the sidewalk staring at the ground tripping clumsily over the cracks in the pavement. She knows swears well enough to use them correctly? I like this girl already.
I laugh before saying, "I like you already," I nudge her with my elbow playfully, "maybe I am a badass Aunt"
She laughs "You let me swear?" She says like its a question.
"Ya, why not?" I ask her interest in what she has to say.
She looks up at me and then stops "I think I like you already" she says before continuing her skipping pace, "My mom doesn't let me swear, she's so boring."
I laugh again, how can a kid be this funny? "Agreed"
Iris looks up at me in shock. "You think really think so? That's surprising." The whole time she speaks she keeps a steady pace towards her house but at the same time she looks at the ground, "I told Casey that my mom was boring and she put me in a time out. Time outs are stupid, I hate Mrs, Casey," she seems like she doesn't know how to end a sentence properly. Not as bad as many kids I have talked to though. "Have you he ever noticed how white her teeth are?"
"No, not really." I say honestly
"One time I told her that they were as white as toilet paper, and guess where I ended up?" She asked me seeming sort of outraged in her own childish way. She stretched her arms out on either side of her that had been swinging playfully at her sides the whole time.
"Time out." I say blatantly not really moving any of my facial features.
"Exactly. I didn't mean used toilet paper, just clean toilet paper." She said
"Mmm, I think she would be more likable if she wasn't smiling all the time." I say
"I really like you already, mom ignores me most of the time, and when she doesn't she scolds me for saying my opinion." She says like she has said it a million times before.
Iris begins skipping up a parking lot of a set of apartment buildings. I look at the building and in big white letters it says, 234. I begin to follow her. We go up two flights of stairs and down a hallway.
I like this girl. She knows exactly where she stands as a human being. Isn't afraid to say whatever damn thing she wants. Seems to be pretty smart. Knows what she's doing. But is still a kid. A brilliant minded kid.
I like her already.

Hi guys. I know I said I don't like putting notes in my chapters but there is something I wanted to tell you about. I changed the name to my book because I realized that this book won't really be a blog, just a story. But I do think that a blog would be really cool book to make and read. So once in finish this book (hoping it will have at least 30 chapters) I will make another book called The Blog Of The Badass Aunt were I will make just little story's of Trips life after this book ends. (Can't say any more about what that would be, don't what to spoil the end of this book) hopefully that will work out well.
Thank you again for the support on this book 😊♥️

Word count - 1348