I See London, I See France

London, England Part 4

It took me a week to answer Leela's text about whether or not we were still on. I finally wrote back:

I'm sorry. I can't.

She wrote back immediately:

BOOOOOO. Are you sure? I really want to go with you.

Me: I want to go with you too. I'M SORRY.

Two weeks later she wrote:

How would you feel about me going to Europe with Matt? I would OF COURSE rather go with you. Would you be upset? Be HONEST.

I felt terrible about it, but I couldn't say that since I wasn't a selfish asshole. I wrote back:

Go for it. You have my blessing.

Leela: Love you. Thanks. Now I just have to convince my parents. . . They like Matt but I'm not sure how they're going to feel about me traveling with my boyfriend.

Leela's parents had always been in favor of our plan to go to Europe since they thought a month of traveling would be good for her. They thought it would teach her to be more independent. Even though she went to school in another country, she still never had to act like a grown-up. She lived in a dorm and had a meal plan. She went to class and came back. Plus, her older sister, Vanya, was a senior at McGill, checking up on her and paving the way. Leela was lucky.

I wasn't sure if I was rooting for her parents to say yes or no.

Three days later Leela wrote:

They said yes! My mom says she likes the idea! She says she feels even safer knowing he's with me. Sexist but at least they said yes.

I didn't respond right away. She was going to Europe without me. She was going to Europe with Matt.

Leela finished her freshman year at McGill in the middle of May and came home.

At the beginning of June, she stormed into Books in Wonderland, where I work every summer, tears streaking her cheeks. "Matt kissed some girl named Ava at a bar," she said.

I took a break and led her outside. We sat on the edge of the sidewalk, our knees hiked up into our chests. "How do you know?" I asked.

"He admitted it. I asked if something was going on, and he said yes. Claimed it was a mistake. He didn't mean for it to happen. He was at a party, and it was an accident. He was freaked out about how serious we were getting. He said he's still freaked about how serious we're getting. But come on, how do you accidentally kiss someone?"

I considered. "I'm not sure. I think it's physically impossible. You'd both have to have your mouths open, and you'd have to bump into each other at a very bizarre angle."

She hiccup-laughed. "Exactly. So what am I supposed to do about Europe?"

"Damn."

"No kidding."

Matt and Leela had decided to travel through Europe together for a month. Four and a half weeks, to be exact. They were flying to London on July first and flying out of Rome on August second. They were leaving in three weeks.

"Do you still want to go?" I asked.

"With him?"

"No. Not with him. You can't go to Europe with a guy who just cheated on you. Do you want to go to Europe by yourself?"

"No, I don't want to go by myself! I can't go by myself!"

"Of course you can. People travel by themselves all the time. You can go wherever you want. A bookstore in London. A beach in Italy. The Louvre! You'll eat gelato! Macarons! Stinky cheese!"