You make me feel so calm (Dan x Reader)

The day with Phil

*Trigger warning*

T/OC = Taco of choice

F/M = Favorite Movie

"Ph-Phil?" I cry out, screaming. Dan was out for the day to make a collab with Caspar, and it was only me and Phil alone at home. It was currently 2:03 PM.

"Yeah, Y/N?" He comes in rushing. He has a very worried expression spread accross his face.

I lift up my arm for him to see. Blood was coming out little by little, some cuts would've had dry blood. "I tried not to.. But my mind kept saying to." I sob. He ran and hugged me, soon beginning to cry.

"Wh-what caused this??" He asks quickly. I wipe his tears off and mine as well.

"I-I don't know. I was on Twitter and I read some comments on my posts. It made me wonder if I really was fat and ugly." I show him my phone.

Bandtrash101 - What the hell. You're not even pretty, stop trying to "show off" your ugliness.
FangirlKrys - Ew, you're so fat. Try to get skinny and beautiful before posting another pic. (As you can tell, I'm really bad at being "rude" i guess. If you read my rants book (spon lolz) there is a chapter where i talk about how non-creative i am.)

"I-I don't even know what I did." I wipe more tears off.

"They're just jerks that are gonna grow up to become couch.... Couch rats because they never had anything to do, other than cyberbully or harrass a beautiful young woman." Phil says sternly. He tried to be more tough than usual. I hug him but then look at my scars.

"Y'know, it literally pains me to see that you're cutting and having so much self-doubt. Why do you care about what others say? They're wrong." Phil pulls me into another secure hug.

"Th-thanks Phil, b-but I can't do this anym-more." I lay down on my bed, dragging my hands over my eyes. I sit up.

"Please, Y/N. Don't do it." Phil puts his arm around me and brings me close.

"I-I don't know.." I respond. I was shaking so much.

"You know what? I'm not gonna force you to stop. It's okay to be sad or depressed every once in a while, it's okay to show emotion, but promise me this: Try to get help. Go to therapy if you must. Heck, I'll drive you, we'll be there if you'd like and I'll even pay for it. I just want you to get better and for you to be comfortable with yourself." He said, getting up.

I nod. I understand, I really do. Honestly? I've gone to therapy sessions so many times, that I always know what they're gonna say. It's always the same. "Oh, you'll get better if you take medications." "Talk well about yourself in front of a mirror everyday when you get the chance."

"Let's go watch something. You haven't left the room at all today. Hey, let's grab something to eat and bring it back to watch a movie." He smiles. Gosh, he was so adorable.

"Sure." I genuinly smile.

I put on some black jeans, my white converse and the Panic! At The Disco sweatshirt Dan bought me. (Change if you must)

I sigh, looking in the mirror. I really am ugly.

"Y/N? You ready?" Phil calls from the door.

"Coming!" I change my phonecase to a galaxy one. Galaxies and pastel things were my aesthetic.

I ran to the door, grabbing Phil's hand by accident. "U-uh.." I stutter. "It's fine, remember? We became best friends in 3rd grade." He smiles.

"O-oh okay!" I grab onto his right hand and hold it tightly. I felt safe when I was around him and Dan.