ғʀᴏᴍ ᴘᴏʀᴛʟᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟ.ᴀ. » ᴅᴀɴɪᴇʟ sᴇᴀᴠᴇʏ

Chapter Seven

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

"It's almost time," I say over my shoulder, slightly out of breath.

The two of us are racing the clock, trying to reach our destination before five-thirty, when the sun begins to rise.

"We better hurry," Daniel replies.

We've been walking uphill for more than an hour in order to reach the plateau at the end of this trail. The huge rock that jets out from this hill high in the air will provide a beautiful view of the forest below on the outskirts of Portland and the line of the horizon as the sun comes up.

I hear something fall on the path behind me. Concerned, I turn around to see Daniel down on the ground. I laugh as he looks up at me with a grin.

"Tripped over a root," he says, getting up.

Minutes later, after conquering the steepest section of the hill yet, the path comes to an abrupt end. I look down at my hiking boots to see that this is where the rock begins.

"We made it, Daniel!" I exclaim.

When he doesn't answer, I turn to see him just reaching the top of the hill several feet away.

"Whoo," he says in an unenthusiastic celebratory manner. I smile at him and shake my head.

We make our way across the plateau carefully. It's wide enough that we don't have to hold onto each other, but we are both still extremely cautious.

First light creeps up against the line of the horizon in the distance. I sigh in contentment.

I become aware that Daniel is looking at me. I turn towards him, barely able to see the outlines of his eyes and smile in the dim light, stuck in a perfect moment, the world silent and still around me.

***

"What's it like?" I ask after a long period of comfortable silence.

The sun has now risen in it's full glory and Daniel and I sit cross-legged on the rocky plateau, enjoying yet another cloudless day.

"What's what like?" he repeats idly.

"Having people know who you are everywhere you go," I say, grabbing a water bottle from the small backpack I brought along. I pass one to Daniel as he looks at me thoughtfully.

"Does it get overwhelming?" I add.

"Sometimes," he says, looking out at the view. "But most of the time it's just encouraging."

"Right. Because you're living your dream."

"Yes," he says, smiling.

Silence sets in again.

I think about the first time I looked up Daniel's Instagram just a few days ago. By the way he spoke about Why Don't We prior to my searchings, I expected him to have a decent amount of followers and that would be just about it. Goodness, was I surprised when I clicked in on his profile to find two million followers and a fan base larger than I could've even dreamed of.

Daniel doesn't have his life figured out- no one does- but he sure is better along than I am.

I want to know what career I'm going to chase in the future. I've always dreamed of being an author and attending my dream school, Kither University, but I know it won't happen. 

I have no motivation whatsoever to research where I want to go to college. Every night when I sit down to edit, I know I should be working towards my future instead, but every single night, I don't.

The main thing I want to do with my life is write, but I don't believe in myself and the work that I put so much of my time into.

I continue to sit, unable to move due to the fear that if I apply for a school outside of what I actually want to do, the future will hold nothing of what I love so much within it.

***

Daniel shifts the gear to park.

"I'm sorry about having to make this stop. Mom insisted that she couldn't finish preparing dinner tonight without this ingredient."

"Daniel, I've already told you that it's completely alright six times since we got off the trail."

"I know, but that doesn't make me feel less bad."

I swat at his arm gently. He laughs and is out of the car, walking across the parking lot of the grocery store in seconds.

I sigh and rest my right arm outside the open window.

A song I recognize begins to play on the radio. I turn up the volume a little and hum along to the first verse softly, my eyes roaming the sky outside. When the chorus arrives, I sing the harmony part aloud until—

"You sing?!"

I yelp and jump in my seat when Daniel's voice interrupts my thoughts.

He rushes into the car, slams the door shut, and looks at me with wide eyes.

"You sing?" he repeats incredulously.

I make an incoherent sound while pushing the hair that fell in front of my face when I jolted about behind my ear.

I'm embarrassed, not because I got scared, but because this famous singer just heard me singing- something I only do in the safety of my own bedroom at times well past midnight.

"Kai... you sing. And you're good. Those harmonies...."

I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything, and I certainly don't make eye contact with the boy whose gaze I can feel on my face. My face heats up and I try to hide it by turning my attention back to the window.

"Hey," Daniel says gently, in a tone that wills me to meet his eyes, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you. If that's your thing and you don't want to do it in front of anyone else, then that's your thing and I'm sorry for prying. But just for the record... you're a very good singer. I only heard you for, like, fifteen seconds, but it was enough for me to know that you have talent."

I take in his features for a moment, clear eyes, a small smile, a soft expression.

"Thank you, Daniel," I say quietly, and just like that, I feel comfortable again.

"If you don't mind me asking, when did you start singing?"

"Well, as cliché as it sounds, singing is mixed in with my past. The mess of it, at least. If I were to explain why I started to sing, I'd have to start from the beginning."

Daniel nods but doesn't say anything; I don't think he knows how to respond.

"I can tell you tomorrow," I offer.

"Tell me what?"

"The story that will answer the questions you have but are too polite to ask about. Why I live alone, why my mom moved to New York, why I started singing."

"Are you... sure? I mean, that's your past and I'm sure it's very personal. We just met and if you feel like you have to tell me things, then don't even—"

"Daniel," I interrupt, "I want to tell you. If we're going to be friends in the future, I want you to understand what happened in my past."