Never Let Me Go (Derek Hale Fanfiction Book #3)

Chapter Twelve: The Devil Inside

                 The door slammed behind me with enough force to shatter it in it’s hinges, splinters of wood flying everywhere in my wake. But I barely even took notice as I marched straight over to the back wall in my bedroom and punched my fist straight through the plaster, into the insolation and the wood frame. My scream of pain was muffled by my other hand, as I drew my mangled, bloody fist out of the hole I’d created and spun a half circle, slamming my opposite hand through the mahogany headboard of the bed I shared with Derek. The whole thing split right down the middle, fractures splintering everywhere once again as I removed my broken hand from the wreckage and watched in utter disgust as the skin knitted itself back together, the bones straightening out and mending and the beginnings of bruises vanishing.

“Chris, we have to talk about this.” Derek’s voice sounded from the doorway, and an instinctual growl rose up in my throat like bile. Just the mere sound of his voice was enough to make me want to slam my head into the wall, and I turned to confront him with dry eyes, for once.

“About what, Derek? Huh?”

“About everything! Too much has happened lately, and we’ve both made some mistakes-”

“‘Some mistakes’?!” I exclaimed hysterically, lifting my perfectly-healed hand to count off the problems on my fingers.

“Derek, everybody is dead because of you!” I cried, tears welling up in my brown eyes now as I hastily thought over everybody that had died because of Derek.

“Boyd. Erica. Cora. Monica. My dad. And now Ethan?! Derek, you even killed your own uncle! Everybody around you dies. Even I died!” I screamed through sobs that threatened to overtake me again, but I valiantly pushed the grief back. I can’t break down yet.

“Don’t you think I know that? I’ve lost more people than you can imagine, Chris. Don’t make me lose you, too,” Derek practically begged, tears filling up his agonized green eyes. I crossed my arms over my chest, huffing out a shaky breath as I regarded the man in front of me as clearly as I could.

                      I loved Derek; I didn’t think a day would ever come when I didn’t love him. But he wasn’t the same guy I’d fallen in love with over a year ago. We’d been through a lot together, both good and very, very bad. We’d been at our lowest together, but we’d also been at our highest together. Derek was responsible for the greatest pleasure I’d ever experienced, but he was also the reason I’d suffered pain and loss greater than anything I’d ever felt before he’d entered my life. Derek was the best thing I had in my life, but he was also the worst thing to ever happen to me. The contrasting emotions tossed and turned around in my mind, making my head pound and the very blood in my veins ache. 

“Derek...I love you. I will always love you. But right now, I just...need some time, okay? I just need some time and some space to figure things out. A lot has happened lately, and I need to...to figure out how I feel about all of it before I make any decisions.”

“Okay. But you’re not...leaving, are you?” The tremor of fear in Derek’s normally-deep, self-assured voice made a current of guilt shudder through me, and I shook my head.

“No, I’m not leaving. But I would appreciate it if you gave me my space.”

“Absolutely,” Derek said, nodding his head several times as he backed out of the room, his uncertainty of the situation showing on his face. When I was finally alone, all of the tension and all of the fight and all of the anger melted out of my system, my body sagging as I fell back onto the bed that I shared with Derek and my eyes closing of their own accord. I’d been honest when I’d said I needed time and space to figure out how I felt; the hard part came now, when I had my space but couldn’t even begin to process the events of the last few days.