the last request | d a y vi
; h e r & s he
I checked the time and its already 9 in the morning. I wasn't able to cook breakfast for me and Bea. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.
I stood up and something caught my eye. It was a plate of pancakes and bacon, a cup of coffee and a yellow sticky note beside.
Good morning!
I just have to do something kaya i left na. Ill pick you up later at 7 pm. Have a nice day :)
- Bea
I ate the breakfast she made and take my meds right after I finished eating. I looked at my calendar and it's already day six. I closed my eyes again but this time a tear fell, it hurts that it will end soon... again.
3 months ago when I came back after a year I left Bea was the time Jhoanna and Her are already together. Wala akong plano na magpakita pa ng malaman ko yun, kasi ayoko din naman ng manggulo. Pero as I was eating in a restaurant, Bea and Jhoanna saw me. They said hi, ayoko namang tumagal pa na nasa iisang lugar kami kaya umalis na ako.
The day after, I went back to states. Bumalik lang naman ako kasi kala ko pwede pa ulit, kahit 1 taon na yung nakalipas. Handa na akong sabihin lahat kay Bea kaso huli na pala meron ng taong nandyan para sakanya. Tsaka sino ba ako para balikan niya ulit? Bakit niya babalikan yung taong nangiwan at nanakit sakanya kung meron ng taong nangakong mananatili ng iwan ko siya?
It was hard, pero I need to accept fact that it's not me anymore, that it's somebody already that occupies her heart.
I left because I need to, and not because I want to. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, she was the best part of me. But I have to let her go, I have to leave her, I don't want her to be in so much in pain when the time comes that I'll be gone. I have Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Walang kasiguraduhan kung hanggang kelan pa ako. I don't want Bea to suffer kaya habang maaga pa tinigil ko na. Her pain is my pain. It may hurt me but if it's for Bea's sake, i'll do it.
But then, after a year of treating me sa states with mama by my side, mas humihirap, mas nawawalan ako ng pag asa. So after 3 months I went back to the Philipines again to ask Bea if I can have her for seven days, It was a selfish move and it's unfair but I promised myself and I promised her that this will be the last and I would never come back after, because after this no one knows what will happen. And im thankful because I had her for the last time.
- -
Someone knocked on the door, si Bea na ata 'yun. Kinuha ko yung purse ko and went down and there she was standing outside with a bouquet of Babys Breathe.
"Hi." she smiled, "here, flowers for you."
"Thank you."
"Let's go?" she offered her hand, I nod and we went in her car.
"Saan ba tayo pupunta?" Tanong ko ng makapasok kami.
"Basta, just relax there okay? Chill." She chuckled, "How's your brekfast pala? Sorry I wasn't able to eat with you."
"Nah, it's okay. The pancake's too salty and the bacon is burned and the coffee's--" I laughed looking at Bea's reaction. "Kidding! It was good."
"Kala ko naman... hay." after 20 minutes of drive we arrived at a very classic restaurant.
"You should've told me na dito tayo magdidinner sana nakapag-ayos ako." I said because im just wearing a plain white off shoulder and a skirt.
"You look perfect, Mads. You're gorgeous." Lumabas na kami ng kotse and the waiter showed us the way. Nagulat ako ng pumunta kami sa isang place ng restaurant that is located outside, walang ibang guests just a single table and the place was full of lights.
"Let's go?" I just nod.
We ate peacefully then after, a song played and Bea stood up. "May I?"
"Sure." I smiled.
You're in my arms, and all the world is calm. The music playing on for only two. So close, together. And when I'm with you. So close, to feeling alive.
I can hear my heartbeat because im so nervous and... afraid. But the moment Bea held me in her arms, it felt wonderful having her this close.
A life goes by, romantic dreams must die. So I bid my goodbye and never knew. So close, was waiting, waiting here with you. And now, forever, I know. All that I wanted to hold you so close.
I hugged her tight and I can feel my tears slowly falling. Can we just stay this close forever? Just her and me, together.
So close to reaching that famous happy end. Almost believing this one's not pretend. And now you're beside me, and look how far we've come. So far we are. So close...
"Are you crying?" she whispered through my ears. Umiling ako at pinunasana ang luha ko.
"Im fine, Bei." I smiled and we continued dancing.
Oh how could I face the faceless days if I should lose you now?
"I love you still, Mads." I bite my lip to stop myself from crying while leaning against her chest.
We're so close to reaching that famous happy end, and almost believing, this one's not pretend. Let's go on dreaming for we know we are...
I slowly removed my hands from hugging her and looked at her. She looks so confused. "Maddie?"
I smiled, "I neves stopped loving you, Beatriz." I saw her smiled, I wiped my tears and closed my eyes because i don't want to see her in pain again.
so close, so close and still so far...
"but.. Im sorry."
