flight log » markson

⛈turbulence⛈ seven

Jackson had never been more excited to go back to Korea. After a few weeks of performances and fan meets all alone, he was ready to just go home and talk to his friends. Though the promotions weren't terrible, they definitely couldn't even begin to compare to anything he did with the whole of GOT7. Everything just seemed so much worse when he was by himself.

The solo album definitely caused a dent in Jackson's mental health. He had spent so much time locked up in a hotel room thinking about everything he did wrong in the day that he was starting to question if he was insane. The amount of time he spent talking to himself was concerning.

Besides getting to be around friends again, Jackson just wanted to be with Mark again. He didn't care what he was doing when he got home as long as Mark was by his side. A couple days without Mark was painful enough, so a few weeks had Jackson ruined.

When he arrived home, it was night and everyone was asleep. Getting greeted by darkness and silence was somewhat disheartening, but Jackson assured himself that he would've gotten a warm welcome back had the timing worked out better. However, those thoughts were immediately pushed aside when Jackson opened the door to his room.

Mark was laying on his bed, asleep and cuddled up in Jackson's sheets. Jackson didn't want to wake him up—he wasn't tired anyway—so he put his stuff to the side of his room and took a seat at his desk. Since he was still reluctant to go on social media in fear of seeing hate, he settled for watching Mark sleep.

He knew it was creepy, but he knew Mark wouldn't care. Besides, Mark was so perfect even while he slept that it would be impossible for anyone to not stop and watch a little. The way he seemed so at peace and so content made Jackson both happy and jealous. He was happy Mark was doing okay while simultaneously being jealous of his happiness. It was conflicting.

Soon enough, Jackson was mumbling to himself about how annoyed he was with himself. If Jackson had the option, he would give himself the silent treatment out of being so ticked off, but obviously that wasn't possible. The best he could do was scold himself, and that probably made people question his sanity. He was questioning his insanity.

"Who's there?" Mark asked groggily. He sat up in the bed, staring out into the darkness of the room.

Jackson lightly tugged his hair in anger for waking up Mark. "Hey."

"Jackson?" Mark just about ran out of bed and jumped onto Jackson, hugging him so tight he couldn't breathe. "Fuck, I've missed you."

Jackson couldn't even say anything before he broke out into sobs. He went so long without even getting a hug from anyone—save for a few touchy fans—that he completely broke down when Mark's arms wrapped around him. Jackson missed feeling loved; he missed feeling Mark. Having Mark's in his hold, physically there, reminded Jackson that Mark wasn't a figment of his imagination. Mark was real, and Mark was there.

"I love you," Jackson mumbled into Mark's shirt. "I don't want to spend that much time alone ever again."

"Jackson, I can feel your ribs!" Mark pulled away and ran his hands over Jackson's torso. Nothing was sexual about it at all; if anything, it was just depressing for Mark to be able to feel all the indents of Jackson's bones.

"It's nothing." Jackson could only watch through his tears as Mark's fingers ghosted over his collarbone and settled onto his hollow cheeks.

"How much weight have you lost while you were gone?" His hands cupped Jackson's face so he could get a good look at Jackson up close.

"Only 10 pounds," Jackson answered, looking away from Mark. He suddenly felt ashamed and scared of the way Mark was looking at him.

"Only? That's a lot. How'd you lose so much so fast?" Mark suddenly grabbed Jackson by the hand and pulled him out of the room.

"The staff wouldn't let me eat much and I was just doing so much-"

"Then you're going to eat right now." Mark sat him down in the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge for a few seconds before placing a container of leftovers in front of Jackson.

"I'm not hungry." But Jackson was. The food in front of him looked so good after not really eating anything other than fruit.

"That's a lie and we both know it. Please eat." When Jackson shook his head, Mark grabbed a pair of chopsticks and shoved some food into Jackson's mouth.

"Mark!" Jackson shouted, his mouth full of food. Mark gave him a stern look, so Jackson just chewed and swallowed.

"If I have to feed you, I will." Mark shoved another chunk of food into Jackson's mouth. "Now that you're back, don't expect me to let you get away with all the shit you do. You're going to be eating well and you're going to sleep more."

"Okay." Jackson tried to take the chopsticks out of Mark's hand, but Mark kept a firm grip.

"I'm going to keep feeding you," Mark insisted. "Just focus on talking to me."

"There's nothing to talk about," Jackson lied.

"How can there be nothing you have to say after being away for so long?" Mark's heart sunk as Jackson looked away, hurt evident on his face. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened." Jackson choked down the rant he knew he would vomit if he continued speaking.

"I could feel that something was wrong when I first woke up. Please, just talk. You promised me you would tell me things like this." Mark frowned, desperately hoping that Jackson would open.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, Mark. I just got back. Can't I have a little time to settle in before I get interrogated?" Jackson's tone became very defensive and almost rude.

"Jackson, it's just because I worry about you-"

"Well don't. Because I'm fine. As grateful as I am for you, I can take care of myself." Jackson flinched away as Mark threw his chopsticks down and stood up.

"Why do you have to be so damn difficult?" Mark shook his head and stomped into his room—not Jackson's room. Jackson watched as his heart sank, appetite gone.

Jackson put the leftovers back into the fridge and trudged into his room. He was pretty sure that something else was wrong with Mark and that he didn't get that worked up solely over Jackson's refusal to talk. Still, Jackson felt guilty that he made Mark snap, so he decided it that it would be best to give Mark alone time. With that final decision, Jackson let sleep drown out his thoughts as he hoped that he and Mark would be okay the next morning.