Darkiplier Smuts X

Mirror, Mirror IV

Incubus doesn't look too pleased. He's been mean mugging me for the last half an hour. I'm just waiting for them to hand down a punishment so intense I'll never have to worry about him again. Fifteen minutes later, I got my wish. Replacement is awful...and for the longest time, I thought it was the worst that could happen to someone, but today I learned that the worst is actually called extinction. You cease to exist anymore. Period. What they do I don't know, and I'd rather NOT find out. Incubus is immortal, but apparently, that doesn't matter. He's history. "Are you happy?" Alkonost asked, jabbing my side. "I'm terrified. Is no one truly immortal?" Alkonost gave me a funny look. "What does that matter? You're not immortal." "Yeah...of course not." I replied. "Besides, you have to really fuck up to get that as a punishment." My mind wandered and I remembered there was a second party involved in this. "Wonder what they're gonna do with Anti when they find out he masterminded this whole thing. They can't exactly get rid of him...he belongs to someone." "Hmm...that's a good question." I thought about it, and as much as it pained me, I knew what I had to do. "Let me tell them about him and...figure something out." I said, rising to my feet. I explained the situation and told Baal I thought he'd find Anti with Xibalba. He raised an eyebrow. "Why?" "Trust me, she's just as evil as him. Those two deserve each other." I went off to find them, and I found them exactly where I thought they'd be. "How's it going?" I asked Xibalba. "Oh great, someone else I hate." she replied, barely even looking up. She spat at Anti and barely missed. "No, like this." I said, spitting at him, making sure I hit him right in the face. She laughed. I never thought she was capable of displaying any positive emotions. For a minute, I didn't hate her quite as much. "Nice shot. I guess you're not completely worthless." Now she's joking around with me? "Stop or you're gonna make me gain an ounce of respect for you." "You two are fucked." We both looked at Anti. "Not as fucked as you. Baal wants a word with you." "Baal, huh? We used to be friends." I couldn't remember Baal ever liking Anti. Few ever did. He made an enemy out of damn near everyone. "Whatever." I replied. Xibalba stood up. "Guess that means we're done here." "Tag along, you might like what happens." She hesitated. "Whatever." she replied. "Don't try anything." I said. Anti huffed. "I do what I want." "Yeah, well, if you try getting away, Baal will just drag you right back down." A look of defeat spread across Anti's face. Xibalba and I led our captor to Baal. Much to my vexation, Incubus was still there. He hissed at me as I walked by. "Bitch." I whispered. "I've gotta say, I hate this fucker." "This is a courthouse, not a locker room." "Alright...sorry, I have to say, I hate this...individual...but, he has a human. We have to deal with that. Replacement clearly doesn't work. He learned to hate me all over again...extinction isn't an option. I guess...just let him go." God, I almost threw up saying that. "Let him go?" Baal asked. "Yeah. What else can we do?" "That's a noble gesture, but it doesn't solve anything." I had no idea what else could be done. "You want them to let me go?" Anti asked, turning to me. "I do. I also don't want to see or hear from you again." He looked at me for a long time. "You really want them to let me go?" "Only if it means we can drop this stupid feud. I hate you and you hate me. That will never change. I'm fine with that, can't you be fine with it, too?" He seemed to not have an answer. I stared at him. "I like torturing you." he replied. "Please, you have yet to torture me. You annoy me. There's a difference." I realized that I had to speak his language. "You like conning others, right?" He nodded. "Think of all the time you've spent messing with me. Imagine how many individuals you could've conned with that time." A look of realization spread across his face. "You missed out on so many opportunities to swindle and scam all because you wanted to bug me. You're quite the con artist, but that seems like a rookie error. You don't wanna be a rookie con artist again, do you?" I purred. "No, and I'm not." "Then quit acting like one. Drop this stuff and go back to doing what you do best: taking advantage of others for their assets." Baal didn't seem satisfied. "This type of thing can't go unpunished." he said. "What do we do with him then Remember he has a human." "He's gotta go. For good. Like Incubus." That was fine with me...but...what about his human."We'll have to give his human someone else." I looked at Anti. "Oh how the mighty have fallen." I teased. "You never wanted them to let me go." he replied. "Actually, I made my plea, but it looks like your friend isn't so friendly toward you. I was all for ending this silly ass shit, but...oh well." I started walking off leaving the culprits to panic amongst one another. "Come on, Nost." I said. She stood and followed me. "Xibalba, you can come, too." "Are you nuts?" Alkonost asked. "She's gotta go back in her cage. Come on." "All in good time." I replied. "I wanna talk to her first." Alkonost seemed surprised, and I can't blame her for that. They both followed me outside and I asked Alkonost to wait for me. "What do you have up your sleeve?" "Just my arm." I said. She sighed. "Really, don't go getting yourself into trouble." I gave her a look. "I can get myself out of anything." She looked annoyed. "Just don't do anything stupid." "You know me." I replied. "That's why I said what I said." Ouch. "I've had my fair share of self-inflicted misadventures, but come on-that whole thing with Incubus and Anti was NOT on me." "You are a natural envelope pusher. Be good." she put her finger in my chest and I nipped at her hand. "Hey." I said as I walked alongside Xibalba. "If you're planning on putting me back in tha cage, you have another thing coming." "I'm not, actually." She stopped and looked at me. "No? I don't believe you." "You don't have to. Believe me, caging you sounds like a dream come true. You're a monster...but I owe you a thank you." She seemed appalled but softened after thinking about what I'd said. "I only did it because I hate him more than you." "So you say." "And what the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you implying I like you?" "Not implying." I replied. I looked at her for awhile. She really is quite pretty...even if she is the biggest cunt to ever walk on two legs. "I'll never forgive you." she said. "I'll never ask you to. I did everyone a huge favor." She looked away. "Let's go somewhere more private." she said. I looked at her suspiciously. "I dunno..." "Just come on." "But what about Alkonost?" I turned to see that she was looking at me sternly. I gave her a pleading look and she acknowledged it and disappeared. God, I hope she isn't mad. I owe her a thank you, too...sure, I didn't end up needing her too much, but she stood by me. I cautiously followed Xibalba to the mountains. "Stop being paranoid. If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead by now." I laughed. "You'd have a hard time...never mind." I said, not wanting her to know she couldn't kill me. No one can. "Hard time what?" she asked. "Nothing. What do you want?" She sat on a rock. "I don't know what to think right now. I hate you. I hate you so fucking much. Teasing me mercilessly as a child, killing my husband, overthrowing my kingdom, those are just a few things you've done to me." I snorted. "You earned that. Teasing you? Please, you made everyone miserable on purpose. Killing your husband? Firstly, I had no idea the two of you married...secondly, he bet me his life and he lost. How is that my problem? It was him or me, I picked me. Lastly, you were a horrible leader. On purpose, too." She scowled. "If you called me up here to try to guilt trip me, you're wasting your time. Like I said, I won't ask for your forgiveness...and I won't do it because I'll never apologize. Do you even know who you were married to?" "Someone just like me. The only other person like me in the entire universe. The only one who would accept me." "You sure?" I asked. "I think so." I sat beside her and she moved away a bit. "You're not being honest here." "You calling me a liar?" she asked, defensively. "Yes." I replied. "You don't really like yourself much, do you?" "I love myself." she said, not sounding so confident. "No...you're not happy with who you are. Just admit it. This whole mean bitch shit was just an act." "N-no." she stammered. "You don't understand." "You didn't call me up here for nothing." "I called you up here to discuss what happened today." I narrowed my eyes at her. "No, you didn't. You've been doing some thinking ever since I let you out." She was practically seething by now. "You are so arrogant!" she said. "You really think you know everything!" "You made others miserable because someone made you miserable. Your shittiness was so intense it attracted Abraxas, and you thought he was the only guy out there who would be with you, and after awhile, you came to realize you've been lying about who you really are. You were in deep, and you resented that fact, so you refused to drop your act, and blamed me for your misery. Considering our history, you could easily make the pieces fit. Then you got caged. Then you started thinking. Then this shit with Anti and Incubus happened...I'll admit, I was hesitant to speak a word to you about it, but I gave you a shot. You did what you were supposed to...I appreciate it. You needed to come clean to someone...and you knew I'm probably the only one who'd listen to you now...so here we are." She stared at me before taking a deep breath. "That's all true." I snickered internally. I'm always fucking right. "I don't trust you at fucking all, Xibalba. It'll be a long time before I can...and I may never. Whether I do or not depends on you. I'm not interested in caging you right now, you've earned some time out of the cage...but fuck around and I will be back with a vengeance." She snorted. "Please, as if." she said. "Try me." She looked at me funny. "Try you?" I returned her funny look. "Like this?" she asked, pressing our mouths together in a kiss.