Ok first off.
I know I'm gonna be hated, especially since like half my books are on hold. I truly apologize for that. But so much has been going on in my life, and it's because of just one fūcking word...
Depression
I'm depressed. I have been for the past year, but I thought nothing of it. It was just something that was apart of my life, and like everything else in my life. It was horrible, but I learned to deal with it. But recently, I'm not even sure why, but the voices in my head came back. I don't even know why I'm telling everyone this, but I feel like you guys need to know why I'm taking a break.
So, the beginning.
My family argues. It's mostly because my brothers going through a teenage phase, as my aunt refers to it, and that It'll all end when his finally mature. But it isn't, because half the time, it has to do with me. Something you should know, my family is dysfunctional. My mother is easily stressed and has anxiety. My father is a control freak, and his a perfectionist. Always has been. When we make the tiniest mistakes, he freaks out. About a year ago, when my depression started I guess you could say, my brother fell down the staircase in my home. Due to my father, pushing him. They'd been arguing over the dumbest thing, and my dad grabbed him by his shirt and just, shoved him down the stairs. Thank god he wasn't badly injured, but he was still hurt. For some reason, that day, the voices came. One was always telling me how useless I was, and how no one would ever want me. The other was telling me how I was worthless and that my family didn't love me, just used me. And for some god damn dumb ass reason, I believed them. I believed it, for 2 years, and I still believe one of them. I know no one will love me, and that I'm worthless. And the worst part with my depression and the voices, was that I was also battling both my brothers and mothers hateful and spiteful words. They'd take it out on me. They'd use me as a emotional punching bag. I tried to kill my self twice by choking myself, but I couldn't do it. Now I'm just ranting... sorry about that...I'm not quitting, because writing is what I live for. I just hope you'll all understand the situation I'm in, and this moment, at 2AM ET, on Monday July 10th 2017, I'm taking a break. God knows when I'll be back, but you never know. Maybe a few days, maybe a couple of months. I wish all my beautiful, fantastic and amazing as hell readers. This is goodbye
YOU ARE READING
His Little Ladd (Adopted by MiniLadd)
FanficJessica Falls, an orphan since age 2, lives in an old run down orphanage in the middle of nowhere U.S.A. One of the biggest fans of Miniladd, the infamous English YouTuber who has been her hero since she got her first phone. But to find out his adop...
