Endlessly || Justin Bieber

ii

Justin Bieber

Great. Another day, another new group of mental misfits, another partner, and another sob story. As I watched the new girl in the chair stutter as she started her story, I took in her appearance. She was definitely a crier.

I categorized each person here at Westbury Knotts according to the type of talk they share on their first day. I didn't have to guess the type of problem they had going on, since it showed and shined already.

For example, Alyssa was shy and quiet on the first day, causing Phillip to literally pry her mouth open and speak. Shy people are no fun whatsoever and can't even carry on a conversation; the eighteen year old had severe anxiety. Phillip on the other hand was alright, but as a group leader, he didn't have a problem, but he was too loud, sometimes annoying, and tried too hard to get the group active. Brandon's my man here, we got into the same shit and knew what the other was going through, not to mention the fact that he's only four years younger than me, sixteen.

I wish I could go back to being sixteen, I was the hype and it was one of my glory years, I had started to blow up, started my first tour, and experienced millions of cute girls everyday. What happened? I ask myself every single day. How did I become so blind and in this mess?

Fame is like diving; you step out onto the board, feeling confident about yourself in your new swimming trunks and thinking that you're going to perform the best dive ever. Then, you dive, everyone cheers you on. As you plop into the water, you go deeper and deeper down, and you can't seem to breathe and your lungs just want to explode, or in my case, all of you explodes.

The girl opened her mouth, but no words came out. She pulled on her sleeves on what seemed like the fortieth time today as she tried to say something. Social anxiety? Panic disorder?

"H-hi, I'm Anna, Anna Marshall, and I'm here because of depression," she stuttered silently.

Westbury Knotts hasn't had a depressed kid here since for eight years, which is weird because of how common it is, at least that's what Phillip told me. Every person here has some sort of addiction or action disorder, like panic disorder or some OCD type thing. Depression was rare.

Suddenly interested, I sat to the edge of my seat, glancing at my new partner. Tear stains were plastered on her cheeks, her dark brown hair all moved over to one side, shielding half of her face.

She glanced back at me for a brief moment, then turned her head back to the front of the room.

"I've been struggling since I was about, ten I guess, or seven. It depends how you look at my story but, um," she paused, wiping her left eye.

Crier.

"I'm sorry, I'm not really good at public speaking so I'll try to just summarize my story as short as possible," Anna began, taking a deep breath, "I was seven years old, and at the age of seven, you go to sleep pretty early, right?"

Everyone nodded, " Well, I wasn't. I laid awake, hugging my teddy bear all curious and confused, who and what was my mother talking about on the phone? From the words "love", "no way", and my favorite sentence, "Daryl, we can't be married", I figured out that my mom was cheating on my father and I."

At this point, tears cascaded down Anna's eyes, pain and sadness reflecting in them.

"The next day when my mom was at work and it was just my dad and I, I told him. He told my mom. My mom screamed at us, especially me and slapped me, making me feel more worthless than I already am, and it was at such a young age."

"Three years later, I was ten and having a sleepover with my cousin, then my father called. I, being the stupid child that I am, didn't pick up. Later, he barged into the house, carrying suitcase, after suitcase, after suitcase. I followed him up the stairs and into my cousin's bedroom, only to see him talking on the phone with tear stained eyes; as he talked, I hugged him tightly and cried in his warm embrace. We were both hurting."