Addiction

chapter twenty

Sorry for the wait! If anyones even reading lol. School's been super busy!

HARPER’S POV :

The last three days have admittedly been lonely without Blake’s presence. First thing on Tuesday morning I made sure to speak to Mrs Croucher about Blake’s suspension.

Being the stubborn old woman she is, she stuck by her word. That was until I eased two days off the punishment. This meaning he is due back on Monday morning with complete worksheets and a “fresh and responsible attitude.”

Okay miss.

The last time I made decent communication with the boy was Monday night. Waking up in the morning to his unconscious snores and coming home in the afternoons to an empty flat. Spray cans and skateboard decks littered at the front door.

This suspension has evidently taken more of a toll on him than expected and that worries me. I won’t let him bring himself down again all because of a fuckwit at school that has no fucking soul. Also selfishly for the fact that I don’t want another individual to push me away or ignore me…short period of time or not. I need this individual and he needs me, as much as I don’t want to admit this, it’s true. And it being Thursday today means I haven’t had solid contact with him for at least two days now. I don’t want to say this but, I miss the idoit.

I’m contemplating on whether to send Andy down to the skate park this arvo’ to knock some sense into him or to at least keep him on the right track mentally. I don’t want him to think I’m purposely on his back 24/7 by making sure he’s okay, or clingy, either one. 

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BLAKE’S POV :

“I knew what I wanted to do with my life Andy,” I say, emotionally worn as I absentmindedly spray on the wall. No emotion evident except my bleak face.

Although today has let me release any bad scenarios and toxic thoughts through expressionism; it’s also attracted new ones.

I’m not surprised to say the least.

“I wanted to be steadily raised until the age of eighteen. Get my major degree in Visual Arts so I can paint paintings that are symbolic to my life, the one I don’t have, and eventually become a father with a loving partner and beautiful children that draws water to my eyes to call mine. But that won’t- and never will happen. I’ve already seemed to misplace myself along the way. I want a family to protect, but heck my own couldn’t even protect me!” I’m an angry wreck at the present moment. I can’t bring myself to look at the all too skinny boy taking in my miseries next to me. And also because I’ve girlishly spilt out all of my future hopes.

I just speak as I stare at the graffiti ridden concrete wall.

I don’t know why Andrew even came down here in the first place. In all honestly I would’ve expected Harper to be standing in the exact same spot he is, feeding me advice that’s one hundred percent relatable and a mass of care that seems to make me feel like everything’s okay. But she’s not here.

Harper has made it very clear that she wants no status to be put between and around us, although she lets me know daily that her feelings toward me are prominent.

The sad thing is that I want to be selfish when it comes to her. I want to take her love and claim it as mine. I want her decency and respect. If she has her virginity; I want it. I want to take her and keep the girl all to myself. I want to smother her with affection. And I want her to want this all at the same time. I want her to want me also.

“It’s because I’m too much to handle and I know it. Who wants to love and babysit mental problems?” I blurt, thoughts coming alive.

“Her,” Andrew quickly replies. I don’t have a clue how he deciphered what I was talking about, but yet again, he has had me figured since the day we met.